Soul Searching
by FaItHzAnGeL
Summary: AU: For years Faith has walked the earth angry, alone, and lost; things are about to get more complicated when she meets the Maid of Might. The repurcussions of their meeting are life altering. *unfinished* Update: Chapter 11 is now up! Chapter 12 soon!
1. Fate Lurking

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Fate Lurking_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Faith, or any member of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that may or may not show up in this fiction.  I do not own Supergirl; she is totally DC Comics' character.  Buffy belongs to UPN (now I suppose) and Joss and all them people, I'm just borrowing to play.

**Author's Notes: This is AU in a big way, in this universe, Faith never went to L.A. and turned herself in, she just…left.  Supergirl never found Linda Danvers and merged with her, and became an "Earth Born Angel".  This is also based on my fic "Lost Thoughts" where the thoughts in the beginning are from (or a variation of).  A…kind of sequel if you will, but not really, so…yeah.  There are excerpts from Jewel's poetry and Ernest Hemmingway throughout this "chapter".**

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG-13, for violence and adult content/speech

**Dedication: Mandy!  Chris!  Supergirl & BtVS fans everywhere!  **

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

    ==================

I don't know how to do anything 

I am trying to move mountains with words

But I am an ant

I scribble

I drool

I move like a worm

whose world

(words)

encompassed a mile

How do I rise above?

==================

I'm already a killer; they already see me as a killer.  There's no way I can be the Slayer like everyone wants me to be.  

Faith walked through the alleyway staggering about as she passed through.  The night was sinister, freezing, and she was alone.  She took another swig of the bottle, who knew what was in it—she certainly didn't.__

_I'm not Buffy; everyone knows that.  _

_I'm Faith; I'm a bad girl.  _

I'm a murderer; a killer—no one cares about killers, no one loves killers.  

_I stared into the mayor's icy and crazed eyes, and realized that those moments changed everything; it altered the course of history, it altered the course of my fate, my destiny…and I didn't care.  _

She took a deep breath before she chucked the glass bottle into the wall.  

It'd been three years since that night, the night she betrayed Buffy and joined forces with the mayor; things were different after that, she knew it better than anyone, even the self-proclaimed good guy Buffy: superhero extraordinaire.

_I don't care about anything—I'm empty and hollow inside.  _

She wiped her wet lips clean with her sleeve; things weren't as great as she hoped. 

Life wasn't large. 

Life wasn't five by five.

Life was pain.

Cold, hard, pain.

Life wasn't good. 

Life wasn't bliss.

Life was just the huge festering wound at the pit of your stomach; unintentionally she rubbed the scar over her abdomen, _Just one big festering wound._

_I don't care about the guy I offed, I don't care about Buffy.  _

_I don't care about her fucking Scooby Gang, or her stupid Watchers.  _

Of course she didn't, she hated them all.  They hurt her, they ignored her, they were cold, and unrelenting.  They tried to help her; they tried to be her friend—the shame of it all.  

Didn't they know she was just a pile of meat with bones, unworthy of anything, unworthy of love, unworthy of living…? 

I don't care about anything—I'm empty and hollow inside. 

She heard the crash from behind her, and she grinned—something was following her.  She gave a drunken glance at a box of crates nearby, and slammed her foot into one of them as she sloppily grabbed a shard.  "Punks, you can't take me," she whispered under her breath as she heard the growl, and stared at the glowing yellow eyes from the shadows.

_Maybe being the good girl was all Buffy could do, that she did better than anybody else in the world.  But me?  I'm the bad girl—and nobody's bitchier than I am; I do being bad better than anybody else in the world. _

"Come on," she held her hand up as she started into a fit of laughter, the monsters growled and attacked, "You can't kill me."  She slammed her foot into them, staking left and right.  "I can't die, no one can take me."  

 _Things can never be the same for me again and I don't care; I don't care about anything—I'm empty and hollow inside.  _

When the dust settled she stared at the piles, she sulked, "No one can take me."  She staggered out of the alley, "I'm no one.  I'm nothing.  I'm a shell."  She smiled at the open carton of bottles and swiped one opening it quickly, "If all else fails, alcohol will cure everything," and drank continuing her descent into the city.

*          *          *          *          *

She soared through the dark sky, the deep abyss above the city.  This was the only time she felt alive, truly alive—when she was in the air flying like a bird.  

It was during this time she felt like she was more than just a being made of protomatter, something more than a being manufactured, she...felt.  Something she hardly did anymore.  

So alone, so tired.  

She had so many questions and even worse, she had no idea what the questions were.

She landed on a rooftop as she looked across the city, the abandoned buildings still and quiet.  The light in the city was dim in these parts, so dark and damp.  She watched as a drunken girl who couldn't have been older than 17, possibly 18, stagger along, her long dark hair on her shoulders with the painful expression of self-loathing on her face.

She found it odd that humans were like this, as if living was such a horrible thing.  How she yearned to just...live, to be apart of everything, to feel like she was part of a bigger whole.  She sighed, what was she?  Did she have a soul?

_My head hurts._

She tossed some of her blond hair behind her, smoothed out the wrinkles of her bright crimson skirt, and quickly jumped off the building, slowly descending down to the ground, and on the way watched the reflection of her shield, the S-shield as Superboy once called it, became bigger.  She landed staring at it for the moment, pondering its various meanings: truth, justice, hope.  She wished she knew if there was a part of it in her.  So many questions, so many answers she needed and being Supergirl didn't help that matter.

Not that she (Mae, Matrix, Supergirl, whatever it was that she was called) minded helping others, it seemed like the right thing to do…though part of her wondered if she did it because she _wanted to, or because she was __designed to want to._

She turned to see the drunken girl collapse, and with her super-speed, she dashed to the girl, grabbing her before she collapsed.  She picked her up without hesitation and whispered, "Hello?"

The drunkard growled, "Let go of me, who-who the hell…"  

Faith turned over, struggling against the other's massive strength and sobered up when she felt herself falling, and she let out a blood-curdling scream.  Suddenly feeling a grip on her wrist, she looked up.  

Supergirl smiled, "Do you want my help now?"  Faith nodded, "Yeah, yeah, just get me down slow."  

After a few moments they landed and Faith pushed Supergirl off her, "Thanks Sup, but I can take care of myself."  Faith started walking away angrily growling at herself for not being able to hold a few bottles of liquor…many few bottles of liquor.  Supergirl glided over to her as she said, "Sure, if by taking care of yourself you mean 'collapses in dark, dank, alleyways drunk off your…'"

Faith growled and stopped in her tracks, "Listen I said I don't need your help, nor do I want it!"

Supergirl sighed, "How old are you?"

Faith sighed, "What are you, deaf?  Stay away from me."

Faith glared and walked away.  

"Hey, don't…" Supergirl reached for her arm and Faith growled slamming Supergirl to the ground, and cocked an eyebrow, that was definitely new.  Supergirl glared, "Who are you?  Lucky for you, you caught me off guard…"

Faith shook her head, "Whatever, there's no hope for the damned."  Faith quickly rushed off.  Supergirl lifted off, but the mysterious girl disappeared, nowhere to be seen.

*        *        *        *        *

_Supergirl.  What's up with that?  Faith glared at the wall, what had she been doing there?  Why was Supergirl trying to…save her?  Faith shook her head, nothing made sense, when did the meta-humans start coming to little cities like this?  Last Faith heard, Supergirl was off in Metropolis.  _

Supergirl.

That was a switch; she was saved by a real superhero.  Someone of true virtue and a paradigm of justice—the opposite of everything she was, almost like Buffy.

A cool breeze swept through the abandoned building causing the Rogue Slayer to shiver, a blanket would be good right about now. 

She lay there in that bed quiet as a mouse, thinking over times past, her silent ride in the cargo out of Sunnydale, how she wanted...wants...wanted to die.  

She felt so empty, so alone...still did.  

Being Faith wasn't a picnic, being human was worse.  She lived a life with family and friends, she lived a life with someone who loved her, she lived the life where she was the hero...and it wasn't hers.  It slipped so fast from her grasp, a life so unlike hers, a life she so desperately needed vanished within seconds as she stared down at her own face, slamming her fist into it, "Murderous bitch, you're disgusting..." Her own words drifting in the abyss of her mind, and suddenly with a flash she was staring up at Buffy, back in her body.  Her life back, back to the emptiness, back to being alone, back to being dead, alive, but dead.

She stood up from where she lay and jumped out the window landing with a hard thump; she needed fun, fast.  Too much thinking was bad for the soul…even a damned one.

*          *          *          *          *

"We need the blood of a blessed one."  

"Yes my liege, but…where are we going to get one touched by the Powers that Be, the ritual must commence tonight…there is no absolute way…"

The cloaked demon slammed his fist into the acolyte, "There is always a way!  Where there's will, there's way!"  He glared at the floored human, his eyes glowing an eerie shade of emerald.  His smiled curved up to expose his sharpened teeth, "Sources tell me there's a Slayer here, a rogue slayer by the name of Faith.  Find her, we've got our sacrifice, we have the destruction of the world, and the coming of our master!"

The human bowed and exited taking with him a few extra demons, "Lets go.  We have a Slayer to catch, it's our heads if we don't find her."

The cloaked demon cackled to himself as he watched the group leave, the impending doom was so close he could taste it.  The massive destruction, the barrier rip between dimensions, all of it!  He could hardly contain himself.  

Through the looking glass he saw the vision of his master, a massive beast with a mane rough, thick with darkened hair, yellow skin that scaled around him like a lizard, his tongue jet black, and his teeth stained yellow—bones caught between them—and his smoky eyes stared out to Lojeh, the cloaked demon.  Lojeh dropped to his knees, "Soon master we will have the sacrifice, and the ruler of chaos shall be set free!"  

The master demon smiled enigmatically as he spoke in a dark and raspy voice of the dead, "Good."

=========

For we have thought the longer thoughts 

And gone the shorter way. 

And we have danced to devil's tunes 

Shivering home to pray;

To serve one master in the night, 

Another in the day.

=========


	2. Faith In the Dark

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Faith in the Dark_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  Not at all.  Besides, why would you want to sue a high school student?  For the lint in my pockets? 

**Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season 5 Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  There are excerpts from Jewel, Michelle Branch, and Treble Charger.**

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG

**Dedication: To Sadie, cause you gave me enough drive to continue this (you too Mandy!!) with your one review--see people how reviews beget more story?  ;-)**

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ===========

     Inside my heart 

     There's an empty room. 

     It's waiting for lightning; 

     It's waiting for you 

     I am wanting  and... 

     I am needing you here 

     Inside the absence of fear

     ===============

     This wasn't happening.

     She wasn't dead.

     Buffy was going to walk through those doors any minute now.

     Dawn sat in her black dress, the very same she wore to her mother's funeral not too long ago, by the stairs of her home staring at the front door.  Tears stained Dawn's face, her cheeks reddened, nose runny, and eyes bloodshot, _This isn't happening._

     Willow held herself tightly as she watched from the living room as Dawn sniffed, and heaved, with hope beyond hope that her beloved sister would come back, that she wasn't dead--but they'd all seen the body.  They all watched her nose-dive into the watery portal of eminent death.  It was all too real, _Poor Dawn._

     Willow sniffed as she held her hand to her nose, a tissue sticking from her palm as the group hung around the living room in silence.  Anya wrapped her arms around Xander's own for support, as Xander buried his hand to hide his streaming face; he'd fought so hard to be strong.  Tara sat quietly by wall, and Giles sat alone looking out the window—his glasses off, and his brow furrowed.

     Willow watched him carefully and slowly walked toward him, "Hey," she whispered meekly.

     Giles gave her a small smile, "Hello."

     "You're by yourself, one rarely should do that at a..."  She choked back the word, and he nodded slowly.  

     He ran his hand through her hair in a fatherly protective way as he replied, "Quiet solitary contemplation."

     "About?"

     "Well, that once the Council finds that Buffy has passed fulfilling her duty as the Slayer..."

     "They'll what?"

     He sighed, "Go after Faith most likely.  With a rogue slayer on our hands, one who is the only  person in the world who can continue the line of the Slayer..."

     "What do you mean?"  He sighed as he signaled her to follow him, they moved through the kitchen, and sat on the patio together.  "Willow, when Buffy died that first time--when we were lucky enough to bring her back, she activated Kendra.  She cannot activate another, the line carries through to Faith."

     "But...then the only way to have another Slayer is to..."

     "Precisely.  I fear that they will be after her soon, she's as I said a rogue."

     Willow fiddled with her hands nervously, "I see."

     "Yes, and my thoughts have also been to Dawn.  With Buffy gone, her only other Legal Guardian, she'll have to return to her father."  Willow nodded lightly.  "However, I fear that her father is not up to such a task.  Should he take her back, who knows what things might be like for her.  He neglected to even show up to Joyce's funeral when she passed—and I have yet to see his concern now...," he exclaimed in a restrained voice, although anger was evident.  Willow rubbed his arm lightly to calm him down.

     Willow sighed, "What are we going to do?"

     "I'm not sure.  I'm not sure of anything, quite frankly.  Without Buffy...it feels..."

     "Like the end of the world," she spoke softly, and Giles lightly nodded.

*          *          *          *          *

     "Have you any word yet of the Slayer?"  The cloaked demon paced back and forth, as he waited for his lackey to respond.  His remote silence angered Lojeh, and he turned to him swiftly, "You answer when I question you!  Did you, or did you not find the Slayer!"

     The lowly demon cowered and meekly replied, "N-no my liege, its more difficult than we had first anticipated, she's clever at changing places—never stays in one place for too long before she moves, usually gone by the time we think we've found her."  

     Lojeh growled as he raised his taloned claws before the pitiful excuse for a demon tracing its features, "You find me the girl, and you will not fail.  We need that sacrifice, and we need it now!  There are only a few more days until it is a perfect time for the ritual, and I will not have you fumbling it up for the Master."

     "I swear to it..."  

     Lojeh slammed the scaly demon into the wall, "Do not promise, follow through!  I want to see the girl at my mercy!"

     The lizard-like demon scurried away as he stared at the very angry Lojeh, whose crimson eyes glowed with anger.  From the mirror he could hear a slow rumbling growl, "You should have the sacrifice by now," the voice of death itself seemed to speak through Lojeh's master, so cold and sinister it brought terror even to him.  Lojeh nodded slowly, "Yes, but I seem to be surrounded by idiots..."

     Valados growled, "I don't care about your trivial complications, my destiny awaits, and the stepping stone is here!  I need the blood of a Blessed One so that I may escape this reflecting hell and move into reality, and destroy the world bringing chaos to my faithful followers.  I do not want this to become a problem, is that understood?"  

     Lojeh cowered and nodded slowly, "I swear you shall be set free."

     "There is a war being fought and it's happening on the hellmouth, my being there is an important factor."

     "Yes my liege."

     "Do not fail me."

     "I will not."

     "Then find the girl, get me her blood, and burn her to the bloody ground."

*          *          *          *          *

     "Thank you for coming Supergirl on so short notice."  

     Supergirl nodded slowly, "It's no problem Mr. Giles, but may I ask why I am here?  It was never fully disclosed to me."

     "Well, when I contacted Lex..."

     "How do you know him?"  

     Giles swallowed a little hard, "The people that I work for, they are...friends, with very powerful people.  Mr. Luthor happens to be one of them I'm afraid.  Since I knew you and him had a rather public affair..."  He stopped himself, giving Supergirl a rather embarrassed smile, "Excuse me, relationship..."  Supergirl gave him an accepting nod and signaled for him to continue, "Yes, well Mr. Luthor informed me that you were here in California and it would be easy for me to just..."

     "Follow the sightings?"  

     He nodded slowly, "I hired a detective, as you know, and here you are."  

     "Yes, but why Mr. Giles."  

     There was a quiet knock on the door as Dawn walked into the living room, "Hey Giles."  

     Giles looked up and smiled, "Hello Dawn, come in, this is..."  

     Dawn's eyes widened, "S-supergirl!"  

     The blonde heroine smiled lightly, giving her a tiny wave, "Hello there."  

     Dawn shuffled toward Giles as she whispered, "You didn't tell me you knew Supergirl..."

     "This is business Dawn, how can I help you?"  

     She frowned, "Slayer stuff?"  He nodded lightly, "More like Watcher stuff."  

     She sighed, "I was wondering if it would be alright to order out, Willow's spent most of her cooking knowledge, and Tara only knows foreign foods that require...well, foreign foods."  

     Giles chuckled lightly, "Why don't you three go out, my treat.  You three need to go get some air anyhow."  She nodded, "Thanks Giles."  He watched her leave, a pained expression on his face.  Dawn turned back slightly, "Bye, Supergirl, it was nice meeting you."

     "You too...Dawn was it?"  Dawn grinned, _She said my name!  Xander is so going to be jealous of me now.  Dawn turned back and headed out, leaning against the wall, __I wonder what Buffy would have said.  Slowly she jogged up the stairs closing the door to her room behind her, she was suddenly not feeling hungry._

     "She's beautiful, your daughter?"  

     Giles smiled lightly, "Hardly, I haven't been blessed.  She's the sister of...a pupil of mind.  She recently passed, as well as the mother, I'm here taking care of her until...the legalities of what's to happen to her are settled."  

     Supergirl looked back at the stairwell, "You're a very dedicated man."  

     He nodded lightly, "This isn't in my job description.  They're like family now."  He cleared his throat, "But the work part of my endeavor is what caused me to use my influences to find you."

     Supergirl nodded, "Go on."

     "You see, Supergirl, there is a girl out there who...was sort of my pupil at the same time that I was training Buffy, Dawn's sister."  He lightly picked up a picture frame, "This is her."  

     Supergirl smiled, "She and Dawn look happy."  

     Giles smiled, "They were."  He sighed, "But Faith changed that for a time, filled their life with dread.  I need to find this girl.  Something terrible is about to befall her if she does not come back under my wing."

     "This is all very confusing."  

     Giles sighed as he stood up moving to the window, the dark so thick—he started to see why the demons loved this town so much.  He turned to her, "Supergirl, I'm about to entrust something to you, something very grave, something you'll try very hard to fight and find false in, but I tell you it is very much true."

     "I'm listening."

     He sat down, "My job is to be a Watcher."

     "A watcher?"

     He nodded lightly, "My job is to train girls, teach them, prepare them..."

     "Prepare them for what?"

     "To slay vampires, among many things."

     Supergirl watched him quietly with a blank expression.  "You're crazy aren't you."

     Giles chuckled, "I wish I were."

     "So you just train girls."

     "Some watchers do, I had the pleasure of working with a bona fide slayer."

     "Slayer?"

     "A Slayer is a girl, one girl in all the world chosen by the Powers that Be to fight against the darkness, against vampires, with the strength, and skill to defeat them.  The world is darker then you know, I've seen things you haven't even begun to imagine."  He stared at her, "Though I know you've seen some terrible things--but this is the literal demon.  The stories of the boogieman, the monster under the bed, they have basis in reality. 

     "The world is older than man thinks, for eons this world was Hell.  Paradise came afterwards.  Demons rampaged the earth, living for the kill.  This was their home, their haven.  Then they were cast out, and paved the way for man and paradise."

     "So vampires are demons."

     "Not exactly.  The last demon recorded to have left the earth bit a human, mixed their blood, and created something new.  He bit another, mixed their blood, and another.  Vampires are beings possessed, corpses specifically, holding demons within.  The books speak of certain magicks, demons, and..."

     "Vampires."  

     Giles nodded.  "The Slayer was created to stop these things, and the Watcher is there to help her, train her, prepare her for the battle she fights nightly.  I trained Buffy when she came to Sunnydale, and when she died, another girl was called.  When she died Faith was called."

     "I thought you said Buffy just died."

     "For the second time."

     "Oh."

     Giles smiled lightly, "Her friend Xander and her boyfriend at the time, Angel, saved her life.  However, that didn't stop the chain of Slayers from going.  When Faith came, we knew she wasn't like Buffy, or like her predecessor."  He sighed, "She was full of anger, bloodlust, and power.  One can make allowances for her terrible upbringing, and her lack of a watcher--her fear.  I helped to train her, but..."  He took off his glasses as he rubbed his eyes.

     "But?"

     "She killed a man in the line of duty."

     "What?"  Supergirl exclaimed aloud standing up to enforce her shock.

     "You see, when you're in a war, you kill.  You save human lives, the deputy mayor was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and got in the way.  Faith wasn't fast enough to realize."  Giles stared up at her, "When a slayer fights, she fights with her stake, stabbing a vampire through the heart to destroy him."

     "And the deputy mayor..."  He nodded.

     "She was so shocked she was in denial.  She was unstable, I knew it, but I knew that the Council would try something.  You see there is a Council of Watchers, whom governs us, gives us a set of rules, boundaries.  Its a Secret Society that has ties in everything, government, merchandizing..."

     "Political heads, businesses."  

     Giles nodded slowly, "You're catching on."

     "Keep going."

     "Faith felt betrayed when Wesley, the active watcher, tried to turn her in to the Council.  Casualties have happened over the many, many, centuries.  The Slayer has been here since the dawn of time.  This is war she fights.  However, Faith never stood a chance and went rogue, joining with our enemy of the time, the Mayor.  He had her do many things..."

     "Killing was one of them," Supergirl added softly.

     "Yes.  I suppose she would've done, and did, anything he asked of her--he was the only father figure she'd ever known.  Nevertheless, Buffy stopped her.  She was in a coma for eight months."

     "God."

     Giles sighed, sitting down, "After another futile attempt to get back at Buffy, she ran.  To God knows where."

     "She should go to the police, turn her in.  Not trying to..."

     "Supergirl, I understand that, but as I've said, the world is in great peril.  With Buffy being dead, and gone, there is no Slayer to protect the world when Buffy cannot activate another Slayer.  When one slayer dies, another is chosen.  She's already filled her 'quota' so to speak."

     "So the only way for another slayer to come is to kill Faith."  

     He nodded slowly, "And I fear the Council will..."

     "Oh God."  

     Giles nodded, "You see my concern.  I need Faith here, with me, if I can convince her to come back, for her to allow me to help her..."

     "You'll save her life, and the fate of the world."  He nodded.

     Supergirl shook her head, "All of this sounds so crazy." 

     He nodded, "I know."

     Giles stood up, moving toward the blond woman and said, "You don't believe me?"  

     She placed a hand under her chin and leaned forward, "Mr. Giles, you have to understand how this sounds coming from my point of view.  Vampires?  Demons?"

     "Who would've thought that a woman could fly, and was made out of protomatter, or that an alien from another planet would be able to survive on Earth, or a woman born of wonder, molded from clay was real.  You've seen many things Supergirl, why is this so hard to believe?"

     "Proof."  He stood up grabbing his coat.  "Where are you going?"

     "To get you proof.  Follow me."  He waited a beat and turned back to her, "You might want to change attire, you may be a distraction where we're going since we will be walking."

     "I could just fly..."  He shook his head, preventing her from continuing, "We have to walk.  There's something I have to show you."  He grabbed his bag and watched as she morphed her body, shifting her costume into a totally different dress.  

     He gave her a smile, "All the shape-shifter's I've known are in agony during the change—you do it with such ease."  

     She shrugged, "Its not as painless as it seems."

     "Very well then, let us take our leave.  There's a lot of town to cover."

*          *          *          *          *

     "The cemetery?"  

     Giles nodded.

     "You took me through the park, the local club for kids, and then the Industrial District, just to come to the Cemetery."

     Giles frowned lightly, "Do you want your proof?"  

     Supergirl sighed, "So.  Cemetery."

     He nodded, "Fresh graves galore."

     "How long does it usually take for one to...rise?"

     "Depends.  Sometimes all night, sometimes three minutes.  It really rather depends on the situation; they're like people, rather fickle."

     "So we just sit and wait."  He nodded.  She sighed, sitting down in front of a grave, "So.  Tell me about yourself Mr. Giles."  

     He smiled, "I'm a watcher, a man who never really accepted his destiny and did many unfavorable things to try and deter from it."  He chuckled, "But it ended up finding him anyhow."  

     She smiled, "So you weren't exactly fond of destiny were you?"

     He shook his head, "Rather against it actually.  Watchers ran in my family, my father before me, grandmother before him.  It was a family affair, and quite destined that I become one too."  He sighed and smiled lightly, "However when I was ten, I was fairly certain I was going to become a fighter pilot...or a grocer."  Supergirl chuckled as she smiled broadly.

     "What about you, Supergirl?"

     "What do you mean," she replied quietly staring at the blades of grass.

     "Well, what about your past.  I know bits and pieces—I really don't keep in touch with the news."

     "What would you like to know?"

     "About you.  I don't want to seem rude, but is answering that question that hard for you?"

     "Its just weird I suppose, I like hearing about peoples lives, their pasts.  I really don't have one worth remembering—or one at all really."  

     Giles nodded slowly, "I see." 

      She cleared her throat, "Life as I know it began like this, fully grown.  I have no parents to speak of, nor do I have a childhood to reminisce about."  Supergirl held herself close, "I don't even have a real name."  She gave herself a half-smile, "Though many people call me different things, Mae, Matrix."  She looked out into the stars, "Where I came from, the world is very different.  We had only one superhero on our earth—because I came from a pocket universe you see—and Superboy had gone missing.  The Lex Luthor of my world, he engineered me from DNA of a dead girl named Lana Lang, and cloned me using the DNA as a matrix with Protomatter.  

     "He engineered my powers, the invisibility, the telekinetic blasts, the psyche-invulnerability, and the super strength, all of it.  The Lex from my world was as kind as this world's is cruel and unwavering; which is part of the reason I fell in love with him, I thought he was just as my creator was, kind—but I was very wrong.  

     "My world's Lex created a costume for me similar to Superboy's, and sent me to this earth.  Superman finally found me, and we fought side by side, but I failed—we couldn't save my world.

     "So Superman brought me to this Earth, and I've called it home ever since."  Giles nodded, "Amazing."  She smiled lightly, "One would think."

     Giles' eyebrows furrowed, and as he was about to say something, when Supergirl became startled lifting off into the air as a vampire erupted from hollowed ground, snarling, and growling—hunger emanated from his yellow glowing eyes. 

     "Oh dear," Giles gasped backing away, "where are the damned stakes?"  

     He bent over, searching through the bags as Supergirl slammed into the vampire, "Oh my Lord, its real…"

     Giles nodded, as she landed near him.  "Keep him busy Supergirl, but be careful, I don't know how much his strength and your strength match up."  She nodded as the vampire rammed at her, but she lifted off distracting him away from Giles.  She fired one of her psychokinetic blasts knocking the vampire clear on his back, only to have him stand back up.  

     The vampire jumped at her, knocking her down, slamming his fist into her.  Her eyes widened as she felt the blow, perhaps not as hard as a human would, but she could feel some of the pain.  She slammed him off her and she rolled up.  Giles frantically searched through his bag until the vampire grabbed a hold of him, "No!"

     "Giles!"

     "Supergirl, his head—see if you can…"  The vampire grumbled, and bit down hard on Giles, leaving Supergirl shocked her eyes widened, and she let loose.  With her super speed, she ran for the vampire, pulling him away from Giles.  She grabbed a tree branch and slammed the branch into his chest, breaking the ribcage and he crumbled into dust, "Thank God for horror movies," she mumbled under her breath.  She turned back to Giles and rushed to his side, "Are you ok?"  

     He nodded, "I'll be fine, you got him just in time."

     Supergirl helped him as she heard him ask, "Was that proof enough for you?"  

     She nodded slowly, ripping a piece of her shirt off so that he could put pressure on his neck.  "You should see a doctor…"

     Clapping.

     Loud thunderous clapping came from behind the two as a man stood over a tomb in a almost Batman-like pose, leering over them, "Very good show Angel.  Very good."

     "Who're you?!"  Giles shouted as the blond man smirked, watching as Giles staggered a bit as he rose up from the ground. 

     "I'm…**_not_** a friend.  But I must say, you two together, it just bring me to tears."

     Supergirl lifted off, facing him face to face, "What do you want?"  He smiled, "Well hello, Angelic Slayer, its nice to finally meet you."  

     She glared at him, "Wish I could say the same."

     "But you want to know who I am, why I'm touched."  He smiled, "Please Supergirl.  I'd tend to Mr. Giles; we'll meet again soon enough.  Hell is coming to town, and I do believe its only saviors are split apart.  **_If_** they can save it."  He cackled and disappeared as Supergirl tried to grab him, and eerily his voice floated into the air, "The name is Buzz, we'll meet again, Angelic One."

     ============

     Consider this a sign: 

     This is a train in the night 

     And now it's time for you to go

     ============

     Giles rubbed his bandaged neck lightly as he held Dawn close, "Thank you, Supergirl, for doing this."

     "Well, after what I saw last night, and meeting…whoever that was, I definitely think she should come back."

     "She won't come willingly, Faith…isn't exactly one for joining clubs—very much like Groucho Marx, that one."  Supergirl nodded.  

     Giles took a deep breath, "I've briefed you on all her history, her usual haunts, her idiosyncrasies…."  He pulled out a thick envelope, "These are pictures to help you, she answers to Faith.  She doesn't very much use her full name."

     Dawn sighed, "I always thought 'Faith L. Danvers' was kind of pretty."  

     Supergirl smiled, "So do I."  Dawn smiled softly as Supergirl waved goodbye, "I'll bring her back.  I promise."  With that said, Supergirl lifted off into the air and took off.

     Dawn looked up at Giles, "Do you think she'll be able to find her?  She could be anywhere."

     Giles sighed, "I'm hoping."  He looked back down at Dawn, "Do not breath a word of this to anyone, is that clear."  He gave her a small smile, "It'll be our little secret."

     "Promise."

     Meanwhile up in the air, Supergirl stopped and floated gently above in the atmosphere staring at the lighted city; Sunnydale seemed like such a nice town.  She sighed, opening the envelope and pulled out the picture.  

     Her eyes widened, "You."  She slid the picture back in, and soared back around—back to the town she came from before coming to Sunnydale; it seemed Drunken Girl had a name, and it was Faith.

*          *          *          *          *

     Faith rocked her body left and right, rubbing against the man before her moving to the beat of the music.  The fast tempo, the mixing techno hypnotic feel to it encompassed her mind and she grinned, definitely her kind of music.  

     She rubbed the man's hands against her thighs as she felt the seductive riff of the song, and gave him a sultry smile.  When the song finished, she was out of breath, fumbling toward ecstasy as she spoke to the man in a slurred voice, "Let's go have a real party…at your place…."

     The man smirked and nodded slowly.  She grabbed his hand, still dancing to a different song as she parted through the crowd.  Once she felt the cool breeze of the night air she let go of the man, the music blaring inside could be heard faintly as Faith spun around lightly taking a big whiff of fresh air, "Oh gotta love this!"  She stopped and signaled the man to follow her with her fingers and stopped when she saw his eyes widen, "What's wrong?"  

     Suddenly blinding pain filled her mind as she fell forward and blackness passed over her eyes as she heard a groan of pain, and a loud slurping growl.  _Oh, shit_.

     ========

     I close my eyes

     I don't wanna find out how she died

     Foolish pride

     You can't expect to turn away tonight

     ========


	3. Confusing Clarity

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Confusing Clarity_

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  Not at all.  Besides, why would you want to sue a high school student?  For the lint in my pockets?  Well…ok, if you're really into lint…

**Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl—particularly Issue No. 1.  So yeah.There are excerpts from Michelle Branch's songs.**

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To Sadie, cause you gave me enough drive to continue this (you too Mandy!!) with your one review—see people how reviews beget more story?  ;-)

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ===========

     I've been searching deep down in my soul

     Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old

     Looks like I'm starting all over again

     The last three years were just pretend

     ===========

     Her eyes slowly fluttered open as she felt the hot stinging needle spray of the showerhead, the steam rising above her cold body.  

_W-where am I?_

She guards the bar soap in her hand, holding it for dear life as she struggles to keep her eyes open, _The pain is unbearable.  Strange, the pain.  It feels odd, out of place...as if its the first time I've ever felt it, but...who doesn't feel pain?_

_All these cuts and bruises, where are they from, who did this to me... _

_...who am _**I**_?_

She watched as the blood swirled mixing with the water down the drain, and she forces herself up...feel the pain of every bump, of every bruise, her body riddled with them, the blood just poured out of her.  She closed her eyes one more time, finally standing, she shut the valve and grabbed her towel, drying up.  

She was surprised how numb she felt, the pain seemed to just become a tingle and she sighed in relief.  Things were so muddled in her mind, so confusing.  She heard rustling from the room and she suddenly became startled, slowly moving out of the door.  _Who's that?_  She stared at the man cleaning up the room, placing clothes in a basket, and cleared the tables with obviously untouched food.  He straightened up, his back to her.  She stared at him with his strong build, his dirty blonde hair, and he stood tall with confidence.  

She cleared her throat and quietly asked, "Um, hi...who are you?"

_His face.  I feel like I know him, I _**should**_ know him..._

_…the guilt alone should clue me in to that…_

_…Riley…_

"Riley?"

He nodded his head lightly, "Hi Faith."

_…Faith?  _

_…Faith..._

_…Danvers.  _

_That's it, Faith L. Danvers.  I have a name, check on clue no. 2._

He smiled lightly, "I'm…I'm amazed, all that you went through and not even a mark on you…"

"What?"  She stood straight, and she stared at her body—all the cuts, all the bruises, every purple and red and black mark was gone.  She rushed back into the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror, touching her face lightly, _Not even a mark…._

_They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…_

She stared into her eyes, her bright blue eyes.  

_…I'm positive mine were brown…_

Riley cleared his throat knocking on the frame of the door as he quietly said, "Here are some clean clothes; I took some to my apartment to wash.  When I found you…"  She turned to him, giving him a mix-signaled, and very lifeless nod, and took the pile of clothes, "Thanks."

He shrugged as he turned his back to her.  She shut the door, and he relaxed slightly, "Listen Faith," he said into the door, "after what I saw you do; lets just forget any bad that ever happened between us.  Ok?  I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are."

Faith slid the pants up as she cleared her throat, opening the door, "Hardly a problem."

"What happened last night?  There…there was fire everywhere…and…"  He stared in the tub, he grabbed a towel as Faith searched through her things in the room, "What's this pink stuff?"  He grimaced at the pink sponge-like substance and gagged.  "Faith?"  He turned around as he flushed the contents he held down the toilet and moved out of the bathroom.  

He watched as she rummaged through her things.  "Am I speaking in tongues or something, or…what?"  Faith stood up, grabbing a book as she stared at him with a mystified expression on her face, "I was…lost…and empty...  And…I needed to understand…to learn…"

Riley blinked, "I know we've just established a whole new friendship deal, but I don't think we've evolved so far that I'm able to decipher Faith-code."  

Faith blinked, grabbing Riley's shoulders, "Riley…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I mean."  

She gave him a half amused look and relief washed over him, "Thank God, I was beginning to think I'd be the only one."  

Faith sighed as she looked around, "Do I really wear all this leather?"

He shrugged, "From what I've heard…yeah.  Why?"

She sat on the bed and she scratched her head in frustration, "Faith are you ok?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Giles' been looking for you…"

"Giles?"

Suddenly like a flash, a memory filled her, "It looks like Faith'll be gone for a good long while…"  Her eyes blinked at the image of the middle aged man stood before her, with a group of people she knew—yet she didn't.  His dark green sweeter, the dark pants, and just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

She blinked, "Why?"

"Well," he said solemnly as his eyes dimmed, "Buffy's dead."

"Buffy?"  Another involuntary memory came, and she stared at the blonde girl in her mind as they spared off, fighting through her apartment, crashing through the window landing on the roof top, suddenly finding herself confined to handcuffs and the blonde's voice cry, "What's wrong Faith, all that killing and you're afraid to die!"  Faith shook her head slightly and closed her eyes.  Quietly she replied, "Ever have one of those days where nothing makes sense anymore."

He nodded lightly, "More frequently."  

She sighed, "Riley I…don't remember.  Or…I do…and its like…like I'm seeing all these memories like they're from a distance…like…"  _Don't tell anyone Mae, you can't ever tell anyone, _said a voice in her mind—such a familiar voice with his blue hair, and his glasses concealing his bright blue ones.

Riley nodded, "I could help.  Some.  Maybe fill in the holes."

She nodded lightly as she tucked her legs in, wrapping her arms around them.

"Well, we've established your name is Faith…I really don't know your last name, or middle…"

"Linda…Danvers."

"Oh."  He cleared his throat, "Right so Faith Linda Danvers."  _It's a pretty name, oddly._

Riley grabbed a chair, and sat down, "Well, you lived in Boston for a little bit, and I know that you probably had…a not very nice upbringing."

"How could you…?"  She closed her eyes as a brief flash of a fist slamming into her and the words "ugly little bitch" rang through her mind in a horribly scary tone.  

Riley sighed, "Account sightings, descriptions.  The loneliness, the solitary confinement, the trust issues, it all leads to one thing or another."  He cleared his throat, "That was my way of trying to explain it at least.  Before…"  

He took a deep breath, "I don't know what, or how, but you started traveling, with your watcher—you even ended up in Missouri.  That's where you saw her tortured to death by Kakistos…"

A flood of images filled her mind of the hoofed vampire, with a long blood tinted dagger, and the shouting of a woman's voice that slowly gashed at Faith's heart.  She stood up, and ran out the door.

Riley jumped up, grabbing his coat, "Faith!"  However, the door slammed and by the time he was out, she was long gone—dust in the wind.

*        *        *        *        *

She kept her eyes closed as she ran, the breeze hitting her face.  _All these images, all these memories—they're blinding; so random and involuntary._  

Faith opened her eyes as she watched the groups around her slur…

_Oh._

…the trees and buildings become streaks of color…

_My._

…the color continued to invade until nothing made shapes but instead just the dreaded streaks of color.  

_God._

From a distance away she could hear as the masses of people gathered and stared above as a man stood over the ledge with a gun, "Don't do it!" shouted an officer trying his best to contain the situation, but he knew it would be hard with the crowd around him.  

From behind him a spectator shouted, "Do it!  Shoot and jump!  Do it!!"  

The officer glared as he turned back and swiftly shouted, "Keep quiet you!"  The officer looked back up, "Come on, things can't be that bad!  Come down, and we'll talk, I promise none of us will harm you!"

The man's chin trembled, his bottom lip quivered as heavy sweat filled his brow trickling down his face as he shakily mumbled to himself, "No…more…talking…"  He jumped, and was about to pull the trigger when a blur of speed and wind rushed through the crowd, ascended from the ground, and brought him back down leaving him dumbfounded, and the gun in his hand bent.  His eyes were wide open as the cop grabbed him asking, "Who was that?  Was that The Flash?"

The shocked and troubled man shook his head as a small smile cracked and he softly said, "No…no, that was…an _angel_…"

Farther down the blur of wind came to a lurching stop.  

_I…did that.  _

_I saved…someone.  _

_I saved a life._

Slowly, and ever so slightly, the emptiness inside ebbs.  

_What am I?  I'm…I'm not human…_

_No…I am_

_…that question was what's been preying my mind…_

_…minds…_

_…mind…_

Faith blinked, _I have a life.  My name is Faith.  I have a friend named Riley…I think.  I had a family, that wasn't so great.  _**I**_ wasn't so great…  And it seems everything has been on mass destruct-o-time.  Ok, so all of that sucks, but its still a life, I just…need more answers…_

Riley jogged trying to catch up to the raven-haired girl, "Faith," he huffed and puffed grabbing her by the shoulder, "how…how did you get here so fast?"

She stared at him as he tried to collect back the lack of oxygen in his lungs, "I ran."

"Well…it's definitely safe to say that your slayer skills aren't rusty…"

"Slayer…?"  She blinked as another flash of vampires and demons flew by her eyes as she watched herself fighting alongside Buffy, 'Bastards,' she shouted, pounding her fist into one particular bastard, 'never touch me, never ever touch me.'"  She shook her head lightly and watched as the sun started setting, "Maybe we should…"

"Sit.  I need to sit."  

She nodded lightly as she sat down on a bench next to Riley.  She cleared her throat as she said, "Riley fuck the past.  I…its just that, I don't need any info on it.  Lets let the past die."  

_That word.  Fuck.  It seems so foreign to me, as if I've never uttered the semblance of any word that was vulgar or immoral…yet at the same time it feels so natural, the cussing.  _

_…and as I stare at Riley…_

A flash of a very naked Riley, soft moans, and a wave of ecstasy filled her mind as she blinked, her eyes wide.  __

_…something tells me I'm very…_experienced_…in all sorts of immoral liaisons…_

She cleared her throat, "I mean.  Lets talk about present.  You said you found me right?"  

Riley nodded, "Yeah."

"Do you have any idea why I'm here…or…why I was where you found me?"

Riley shook his head, "You just left the last time I saw you…or well, the Buffy you."  

She blinked, "Right."  

He sighed, "You could've gone anywhere, been anywhere.  I was surprised actually.  When I found you, the building was on fire…and…the demons were shouting, and it was awful Faith."  

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket and started searching for a lighter.  "The first thing I saw when I passed the building was a very beat, very hurt you fighting against a few demons, and Supergirl sprawled on the floor.  Then I saw you collapse on the roof.  There was a wave of…wind I guess, and then the next thing I knew was you, falling down the three story building."  He took a breath as he found the lighter, "I found you.  Strong heartbeat.  I phoned Giles.  He said he sent…"

"Supergirl to find me," she whispered silently and he nodded in response.  

With a sudden flick of the lighter, and the flame rose igniting the cigarette.  Her eyes widened at the sight of the flame and she jumped up, "Oh God."  

Riley was on his feet quick and he gently said, "What?  Did the fire…did it scare you?  Are you ok?"  

He moved to place an arm on her shoulder to calm her down but Faith took a step back and shouted, "Don't…" pushing him away.

He flew back a few feet sliding on the pavement—suddenly thankful that the groups of people that were usually around didn't notice.  He stood up and looked around, "Faith?!"

He spun around, "How the hell do they do that?"  She was gone, and he ran around to find her, he looked left and right, but he didn't look up.  If he had, he would've found her atop the building with her knees tucked under chin, and her arms wrapped around her legs.  As he searched the city, she looked inside for the answers she already knew.

_It was dark, they'd beaten me to a bloody pulp, and they pushed me into the hall where their master lingered around in his dark robe, rough and potato sack looking.  His eyes were glowing in so many colors I failed to keep track, but the icy blue tint that terrified me—it was the color of fire when it crackled.  _

_They knocked me to the floor, and I could hear one of them call him Lojeh and hand him the ritual dagger—I knew I was going to die…and I was so glad._

_At the same time I was soaring through the sky of this little town, faster than I ever had in my life as the synthetic protoplasmic being I was.  By the time I found the place, after following the trail of dead bodies, and the fire crackling from the building I stormed in just in time to hear the ritual being completed—almost completed._

_Then I saw myself, I was alive yet dying.  _

_I stared at myself from across the room, I was on fire, burning—dying  with pain, yet I was all too alive and cold, empty.  I fought hard as I could, the demons attacked me…Supergirl…me… but at the same time I saw the determination in her…my…her eyes.  _

_I stood up with whatever life I had left in me, and hurled myself at them, slamming left and right into the demons as one of the slammed their sword into Supergirl.  I was surprised, the sword slammed into me—my invulnerable skin, but I realized that my invulnerability is psychokinetic in nature; I let my guard down.  _

_Another demon, an unseen figure, slammed the ceremonial dagger into my, Faith's, my side—tainting the weapon with my blood hurling it in a heartbeat to the fire, a fire that rose higher then I'd ever seen in my life.  It was then that I realized it was a portal, with a very large demon about to step forth.  With a telekinetic blast, I—Supergirl—shattered the knife thwarting the spell…but I couldn't save myself…couldn't save Faith…couldn't save Supergirl…_

_The demons ran in fear as the master and vile demon of them all cried out in pain, a pain deeper than any sorrow I held…Faith held; sound that filled my ears like a hundred discordant violins, and Lojeh, as he stared at the site, fled in anger vowing vengeance._

_A gust of wind had blown through and extinguished the fire, leaving me and Supergirl burned, bloodied, bruised…and dying.  I crawled closer, asking why, staring at myself in the eyes, her blue eyes, and she cried out, "Because the world needs you…"  _

_I coughed, and silently said to Supergirl, "I screwed everything up…it wasn't supposed to be like this…wish…wish I had the chance to make things different…"_

_My heart broke staring at Faith and I cried out, "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you…"  And she touched me, and like a surge of energy the protomatter that was my body connected us…merged us…_

*        *        *        *        *

The sheriff shouted, "I will not be taking any questions.  I do have a few statements, so thank you for coming.  The causes of the fire, and the arsonists who performed it, are as of yet unknown.  What is known is that the fire was made from within the building, and the residents had taken hold of the abandoned building for months it seems.  

"The whereabouts of Supergirl are still unknown, all that was found was…"  A gust of wind filled the air, as he held up the costume, and then suddenly taken out of his hands, "…Supergirl's costume…"

The reporters and surrounding civilians looked up as they gasped with Supergirl soaring above them in all her glory.  

_Somehow, my protoplasmic body merged with that of a dying Slayer named Faith, giving her my life, and another direction in being.  _

_And it also gave Supergirl a soul, a darkened one, but now that I, Faith, am Supergirl, I have to work at redeeming myself by being Supergirl_

_ And I hope that God has mercy on my soul…_


	4. Shades of the Past...

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Shades of the Past…_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  Not at all.  Besides, why would you want to sue a high school student?  For the lint in my pockets?  Well…ok, if you're really into lint…

**Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl—particularly Issue No. 1.  So yeah.There are excerpts from Incubus' songs.**

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To anyone who reads this, thank you.

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ==========

     seven a.m.;

     the garbage truck beeps as it backs up

     and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away.

     Could I push Rewind?

     The credits traverse, signifying the end

     but I missed the best part.

     Could we please go back to start?

                        —Forgive my indecision—

     ==========

     Riley waited in the frame of the door as Faith gathered her things, picking up her room.  _She's definitely different from what I've always heard._  He slowly squatted down as he watched her, _She's definitely become less pale—maybe that was the coma's after affect, or maybe it was the toll her body had taken, but her color is definitely brighter, and she looks…happy.  Perhaps whatever demons she has in her head have finally ceased._  Riley chucked, "God listen to you Smallville, you sound like a shrink."  _Well that was your major…_

     Faith looked up from where she was gathering her clothes and grinned, "Are you done staring?"

     Riley cleared his throat, "Sorry."

     She shrugged, putting the last of her stuff away and looked around the room—everything was organized.  She sat on the bed, placing a long lock of hair behind her ear, only to have it fall back out of place, "Thanks for putting me up Riley."

     He shrugged, "Least I can do until you get back on your feet."  He smiled, "Hey maybe when you're ready we'll do a little sparring and keep up the training…"

     "Training?"  She replied a bit spaced out.

     "You know, Slayer training.  The whole shebang."

     "Oh," she looked down, "Right."  She nodded, "In a while."

     "Penny for your thoughts."

     She looked up, "Its nothing, I just…I feel like there's something I'm forgetting, like there's a place I'm supposed to be."  

He shrugged, "Well you're here for a bit, so why don't you rest."  

She nodded, "Ok.  I'll talk to you later."

     "I'll get us some dinner while I'm out."  

     "Thanks."  

He strolled out of the room, shutting it closed behind him.  _Finally,_ she thought.  Quietly she morphed out of Faith's form, and into Supergirl's, _I thought he'd never leave_.  Supergirl floated in the air staring a pile of pictures, _The morph to Faith gets easier each time—don't know if that's a good thing or not.  The odd thing is every time I morph into Supergirl, the more I feel I'm in _**Faith's**_ skin_.  She sighed as she stared at the pictures. 

The world of Faith Danvers is a strange one.  

_I should know.  _

_It's my world now._

Trying to separate Supergirl and Faith is very difficult, I can't tell the difference between my life as Supergirl begins, and my life as Faith ends; its like she's always been there—in a strange and very freaky way.

This was all definitely new, she had friends…a friend, a family—sort of, and she had…she stared at her clothes, "Oh my God."  She shut the windows and glared, "I can't morph clothes?"  She morphed back into Faith and glared, "Ok, another little idiosyncrasy I have to get used to."  She cleared her throat and resumed her post at the items she believed would help her.  

_I thought maybe by looking at some of Faith's old stuff, it'd tell me more about her…my…past, give me more than fractured memories_.  She randomly picked up a pair of jeans, poking her finger through the hole, "These…jeans, I remember these jeans."  Her mind flashed back to that day four years ago, _Buzz…I know him, he… _ "…burned a hole in my pants, fucker.  You did that on purpose," she yelped as he chuckled, flicking the cigarette away.  

Buzz sneered, "Of course, luv, everything's on purpose…" 

Faith glared, "Oh yeah?  Well, how do you explain your mother popping you out?!"  She grumbled as she stormed out of the bar into the dead of night.  

Buzz grinned, "Fate, luv.  Fate."

"Fuckin' prick," Faith mumbled under her breath as she changed into her jacket, then the hands came, chuckling and laughing like sucking chest wounds talking about Kakistos…

Faith closed her eyes and shook away the memory, staring at the picture, "Buzz…"  

The name rang in her mind as her eyes widened, "You!  It was you!"  The moment in the warehouse filled her mind, the man who knifed her, the man who knifed Faith, was Buzz!  She glared as another memory filled her mind, "The name is Buzz, and we'll meet again, Angelic One."

_Ok, now we're moving into wigging territory_.

A slow knock came from the door, "Who is it?  Riley?"  

Faith rushed toward the door, "Always the gentleman, what's up?"  She opened the door and her eyes opened wide, "Giles."

"Hello, Faith."  

She blinked, silence stood between them for a long minute before she managed to stammer an invitation into the room.  

"How are you?"

"As good as I can be, considering."

"Yes, Riley told me over the telephone."

She nodded lightly, "What…what brings you to this side of California?"

He gave Faith a small smile, "You, really."

Her face became tight and soft.  "You're not afraid I'm going to kill you?"

He chuckled.  "Faith, I wouldn't of come if you were going to kill anyone," he hinted toward the main part of the apartment, "and good old Riley over there wouldn't be here."  

She nodded lightly before sitting down, "What do you want from me?"

"To be your Watcher.  A Watcher without a Slayer is pretty much just watching Masterpiece Theatre…as Buffy once put it."

Faith chuckled, "You were never one for proverbial teenage banter, Mr. Giles."

He nodded, "And you weren't one for the words "proverbial teenage banter" within the same sentence."  

She blinked, "Ok, so you got me.  I learned a few new words."  

He chortled lightly, "Faith, I know that you're intelligent, and I know you have what it takes…"

"To be a slayer."

He nodded, "And I could help you channel that rage of yours."  He stared her and quietly added, "Though something tells me you've…tapered off the wild streak."  

She shrugged, "Near death to a bloody pulp and a ritual of some sort will do that to a girl."

"So it seems."  Giles pulled off his glasses and started wiping them, for a reason Faith didn't recognize, she became nervous, "Giles, what is it?"

"Did Supergirl tell you…?"

"Tell me?  She didn't exactly have time what with the demons, and the nearly being killed."

"Oh my, is she all right?"

Faith nodded, "Yeah."  

_You could say that…_

"Why?"

"I sent her to look for you."

A flash of Giles speaking with Supergirl filled her mind and she shook her head lightly, "Why?"

He cleared his throat, "You know that…"

"Buffy's not of the living."  She nodded and Giles went on, "And then I assume you know that only one Slayer can carry on the line of the Slayer, yes?"

Faith looked down, it all started coming back to her, but she kept quiet.  "Faith, I'm giving you a possibility of a second chance at life.  If you come back with me to Sunnydale, then…"

"The council won't send out assassins."

He nodded.

"I can take care of myself…"

"Faith…"

She sighed, "Look Giles, I don't have a lot of my memories, and everything's a blur, even the slaying," she sighed, "but the fact that I wasn't exactly the model student, or the fact that I was a very bad person doesn't escape me.  I know it.  I _feel_ it, Giles.  I did a lot of wrong and it all happened in Sunnydale."

She sat down quietly as she whispered, "If I go back there I don't know if I'm going to be able to face…the shades of the past."

Giles sighed, "Faith I know you have your reservations, and I take them to heart, but the fact remains that you're the only one who can help us save the world.  If you come back, I'll help you.  I'll be at your side, I'll be your Watcher."  

She looked up at him, "What if I do go and I have nobody…"

He shook his head, "You'll always have me."

Riley chimed in startling both Faith and Giles, "And you'll always have me, we're friends remember."  

She nodded lightly, turning back to Giles.  

He put on his glasses and quietly said, "You come back with me and I'll show you how be a Slayer."

Faith gave him a sincere glance as she softly said, "A Slayer like Buffy?"

He shook his head, "No.  A Slayer like Faith."  

She sighed and stood up, "You better leave, Mr. Giles."

The Watcher stood up with a shocked expression spread over his face.  She smiled softly, "I have to start packing."  

Giles nodded and grinned proudly, "You won't regret this Faith."

_I doubt it, but I have to face my demons some time._

==========

I haven't felt the way I feel today

in so long it's hard for me to specify.

I'm beginning to notice how much this 

feels like a waking limb…pins and needles,

                   Nice to know you…

                             Goodbye!

So, could it be that it has been there all along?

==========

Fear.

Riding into Sunnydale brought out fear in her.  

Staring out the window of Giles' car, she sat filled with dread.  

This town brought out the worst in her.  

She knew nothing about it, except for a few general rules her subconscious gave out—watch your back at night, nothing is ever as it seems, its never a dull day on the hellmouth.  She was thankful now for the lack of involuntary walks down memory lane; there were parts of herself that she just didn't want to remember and everything about Sunnydale told her she really didn't want the visuals that went with whatever hint of guilt filled her heart at that moment.

She held her breath as they drove up to the house coming to a complete stop.  She sat in the car staring at the house, _So this is it, 1630 Revello Drive; this is what it all comes down to_.

"Are you ready?"

"No."  She turned back and smiled, "But its not like I have any other choice."  One thing she'd give herself, she was definitely good at hiding fear.

"Giles…"

He turned back to her before he stepped out of the car.  "Yes?"

"What are we doing here?  I mean…I know I'm back in Sunnydale so I don't get the old heave-ho, but…why Buffy's?"

He smiled lightly, "I'm staying here for a bit."  

She nodded lightly, "Joyce says it's ok?"

His face darkened, "She's…"

She blinked, "Oh man.  I…I'm so sorry.  She was…she was good people."  Her eyebrows furrowed and her face softened, "She was the only who wouldn't give up on me, gave me more credit than I deserved."  She cleared her throat, choking back any tears, and stepped out of the car, leaving Giles speechless.

*        *        *        *        *

"Did Giles say when he was going to be back?" 

"Nope," Dawn replied as she stared at an offending algebra problem.  Who cared if x equaled seventy-two squared times y?  She was quite sure she'd never need it—when would The Key have to know algebra, she thought bitterly.  She looked up at Willow who continued click-clacking into her laptop—another journal entry she supposed, "Giles only said that he'd be back when the business he was 'attending to' would be done.  You know, typical Giles.  I mean, it's his fault for going to do the whole Magic Box thing by himself…"

"I offered to go, but he was very adamant about going by himself…"

"Guess he needed time to think, too."  

Willow shrugged lightly, her typing slowing down.  As Dawn watched her, she thought, _I hope he convinces Faith to come back soon—and I hope she's…not psychotic._

Dawn looked back at her paper, sneering at the problems.  She stood up to get some water, watching Willow carefully.  Dawn could tell Giles' little trip had upset her, and she also knew that Giles was probably lying about where he went; Dawn hated lying to Willow about where Giles really went, but she had promised Giles.  _He's ok.  He'll be ok._

"I just wish he'd get back soon," Willow whispered to herself.

The door in the living room opened and Giles burst through noisily.  Dawn jumped at the sound, dropping her banana.  Thankfully, she placed her coke on the counter.  She grabbed the banana and ran into the living room, "Giles!"  He smiled lightly as he gave Dawn a small hug and waved at Willow.

"Did you find her?  Huh?  She with you?"

Willow stood up, a confused expression glued to her features, "Huh?"

Giles gave Dawn an annoyed leer and she gave a nervous chuckle, "Sorry."

Giles turned around, "Faith…"

Willow gave them a questioning glance, "Faith?"  Quickly her features went from questioning to alarmed, "Faith!  Giles, why didn't you tell us?!"

"He told me."  Dawn said lightly.  

Willow slightly glared at her, "Well, why didn't you tell me!"  

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck, "I promised?"  Willow grunted in anger.

Faith walked up the steps to the porch, staring at the doorframe.  She placed her bags down as Giles came out, "...are you sure this is going to be ok?"

He nodded, "Just…"  

Willow came out, figurative guns blazing, "Faith!"  

Faith took a step back, "H-hey, Red…"  She closed her eyes as she quietly correcting herself, "Willow."

"Giles, what is she doing here?"

Faith stood behind him, grabbing her arm in an awkward stance as he replied, "You remember what I told you in the back patio?"  

She nodded lightly, "Yes.  But I never expected that you would go and find her, bring her here, and make her live in Buffy's home!"  

Faith shook her head, "Listen, Giles, I'm just going to…I'll go look around the city start patrol early…."  She turned around to leave, but bumped into Xander, _Oh God_.

"Faith!"  He jumped back, hiding behind Anya, before realizing the very unmanly thing he'd just done and cleared his throat, "What…the…heck?"

Giles shook his head, taking off his glasses and rubbed them clean, "Faith, its daylight, and…3 in the afternoon.  It's safe to say your escape plan would be faulty."  He quietly added, "And after your ordeal, I'm not sure you're ready."  

She nodded lightly, quietly mumbling, "Great, small space no escape…"  

Willow glared, "What do you mean her ordeal?  What about Buffy's?  Ours?"

Giles shot Willow an angry glare, causing her to bite her tongue, and take an uneasy step back, as Xander and Anya looked about in confusion.  Xander raised his hand, as Faith backed away from them.  Xander headed up the steps, "Giles, care to share and extinguish the confusion?"

Dawn came outside, and she glared at all of them, "God, you guys are _so_ not grown-ups."  They turned back to her as she rolled her eyes, "Come on, Faith, let's get you something to eat, you're probably hungry."  She glared at Willow, "You can stay here tonight in Buffy's room, or you can room with me if you don't want to be alone, it is **_my_** house last time I checked."  

Faith's eyebrows rose, _Looks like someone picked up a thing or two from B_.  She hesitantly started for the door when Xander stepped in her way, "You try anything…"

Faith looked up at him, slightly annoyed, "I understand you have your reservations, all of you, and I would be angry at me too, and weary," she gave Xander a careful once over, "but don't ever get in my way again Xander.  I'm sorry for what pain I caused you," her voice became quavered and her features stung with pain, "God knows I'm going to be paying for it for the rest of my life, but don't stand in my way again."  She looked away, "Got it?"  

He relaxed as he stared at her in surprise, slowly moving back.  

She moved further away from him before she looked back slightly, "I'm…sorry."

*        *        *        *        *

Dawn led the way through the house as Faith followed, lagging a bit behind.  Everything seemed so much the same—but she knew how different things were.  Dawn turned back, "Sorry about that, they're just uber-wiggy."

Faith shrugged lightly, "Its all right, I deserve it."

Dawn frowned, "Maybe a little, but I think they hold grudges too long.  I mean yeah, big hairy evil chick that went psycho—but I don't think they take into account you're about my age.  That they had so much more than you did," she blinked, "no offense."  

Faith cleared her throat as she shrugged.  

Dawn entered the kitchen, as Faith sat on the stool near the counter, "I don't think they get that you're just a girl."

Faith nodded lightly, "Well, sometimes those reasons just aren't enough."

Dawn shook her head, "But they should be."  

Faith fidgeted as she talked, the innocence still untainted.  Faith looked up, "How long…"

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck as she squeaked out, "It's been about almost a month."

"Wow."

"Yeah.  We had the funeral a bit late, what with everything going on, and not exactly knowing where the money was coming from…"  

Faith nodded, "What happened?"

"Nose dive into a portal of doom.  The usual."  Dawn fiddled with the cap of the bottle of soda, "It was my fault."  

Faith looked up at her, "I highly doubt that.  Unless you pushed her off."

"If I had never been there, if the monks had just…"

"Monks?"  

Dawn shook her head, "Forget it."

Faith stood up, grabbing the coke from her.  She moved to the cabinets grabbing two glasses serving the two of them, "Listen, I may not be too certain about stuff, but one thing is for sure, Buffy would do anything for you guys, including giving up her life.  If it hadn't been for you Dawn, of all people, it would've been for Xander, or Giles, or Willow."  She stared off, "That's just the kind of people she was."  She gave Dawn a glass, taking a sip from her own, "She was a good person; a brave person."

"You really did go through a lot didn't you?"

Faith chuckled, "I guess."

"Where'd you go?"

"Not sure."  She stared into her glass, "I'm pretty sure I went all over the place, settled in a city a whiles from here…it was small, I'm not sure how I got there.  I'm not sure about many things lately."  She took a deep breath, "Dawn…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm…you know, I'm sorry for everything, right?"

Dawn laughed, "Of course, Faith.  Otherwise, why would you be here?  I mean yeah, you're here to save your ass, but…if you hadn't changed, you wouldn't care.  I know my mom wasn't going to give up on you, even after you and Buffy did the body switching."  

Dawn looked back up at her, "You will be sticking around," she traced the glass with her fingers, a nervous tone of voice, "right?  You won't leave everything to go to hell around here right?"

Faith stared at Dawn for a long while before she quietly replied, "Count on it."


	5. Dreams

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Dreams_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl.  This contains lyrics from Linkin Park.**

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To anyone who reads this, thank you.

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     ==========

     I know just what it feels like

     To have a voice in the back of my head

It's like a face that I hold inside

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face that watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

[And watches everything]

So, I know that when it's time to sink or swim

That the face inside is hearing me/right underneath my skin

==========

"Get some sleep Faith."  The voice echoed through her mind as she lay in Buffy's room.  She stared at the cheerleading trophies, the skating ribbons, the gymnastic medals—so different from who she was…even now.

She stared at the picture of Buffy with Willow and Xander; her eyes—those green eyes.  Just looking at the picture made her chill, her body writhed with fear, and disappointment, part of her wished Buffy were still alive, to see…to see how different Faith had become.  

She closed her eyes; now she wouldn't.

In many ways, Buffy was the big sister; Buffy did everything before Faith had, had everything she never did and wanted.  To her Buffy was everything and, in a way (despite the evil infraction), Faith had looked up to her.

Her eyes were heavy, her body threatened to keep them closed, but she shot up when she heard the door ram open.  She jumped into her fighting position—surprised she still remembered it—and stared at the offending assailant.  

"Buffy?"  

The blond girl giggled, "That bed's not yours!"  She grinned, twitching in a manner that only a child on a sugar high would do, her blonde hair was in pigtails, and her dress was that of a doll's, and she continued to grin like a fool, "Faith's not coming back is she?"

"I am Faith."  

The girl shook her head, as she giggled, "No.  Faith dead."  Her face furrowed, as she bent her head, "Or is she…"  She shrugged as she turned around bouncing away down the hall of the Summers' home.  

Faith blinked, "Buffy?"

She raised an eyebrow, as she took a deep breath before she heard a creeping shuffle behind her in the room, she swung around—the room changing into a deep abyss of nothingness, black devoid of everything; despair and pain, heartache and all the other aphorisms for the like streamed and vibrated from that fissure.  She shook her head in fear as she stared at the dark figure that stood in front of it, "No." 

She stumbled out of the room, her heart racing as she tripped falling on her face, she looked up—sky.  What was sky—bright sunny day—sky doing in the Summers' hallway?

"Well duh, this is a dream," came a voice that echoed in the air.  She stood up, wiping the sand from her pants, as she felt a presence next to her, "Tara."

The blond witch smiled lightly, "You might need this."  She handed Faith the card of Manos.  

Faith's brow furrowed, "I'll never have to use that.  Thanks anyway."

She took one last look behind her, at the bed she had laid in, and frowned, "Me and Buffy just made that bed."  

Tara nodded, "Yeah you did.  You woke up late though.  Dawn came and went."  

Faith nodded, "Figured as much, the light always has a funny affect on the dark."  

Tara shook her head, "You don't get it yet.  Why you're here.  What's to come?  You don't have a clue, do you?"

Faith slowly stared at Tara before overwhelming fear filled her, choking her to near fatigue; the figure was back—her back ached by the cold pain it emanated and she ran.

Tara stood behind, hugging the card and shaking her head, "She'll never get out that way."

Faith turned back.  The shadow was gone; she was alone…for now.  She took a deep breath after running so fast, _Jeez; I've never run away from anything in my life, why now?_

"The spoons!"  

Faith jumped up, spinning around toward the voice, "What?"

The bald man grinned as he whispered quietly, bringing his pointing finger to his lips, "The spoons can't protect you."  His eyebrow furrowed, "You have my spoon."

Faith glanced down, "No…no this is my spoon.  I just bought it, the man over there gave it to me."  She waved lightly to the man in the chair, who waved back with a bloody axe.  Was that Mayor Wilkins?  Her wave died down to a stop.

Spoon Man shook his head, "Mine."  He moved to reach over for it but she evaded him, "No.  Mine."

"Darling, you can't have it forever."

"But…but its mine."  She looked around as she uncomfortably said, "I need it."

He shook his head, "No.  You really don't."  He grabbed another spoon; "They can't protect you forever.  He can't protect you now."  The Spoon Man smiled lightly, "You're not in need of that Spoon.  You're different.  You're not Faith."

"Yes, I am!  It's my spoon."  He frowned, grabbing it away from her placing it with its "brethren".  He smiled proud, "There, complete."  He looked up as he grinned, she moved near reaching out for them but she couldn't touch them—couldn't reach them.  He chuckled, "Don't disturb the spoons!  They're precious, one touch and their life crumbles before them.  Isn't life funny like that?"

Faith heard a scream, and she bumped into the table, knocking the spoons with loud clanging as they dropped one by one to the ground, the disgruntled Spoon Man sighed, "Look at what you did.  They'll never be the same."  He shook his head, "This does not bode well."

Faith slowly walked away as he collected them placing them back on his table.  

She looked away, catching a glimpse of Buffy and she followed in that direction whispering, "I wish I had my spoon…."

*        *        *        *        *

     Faith slowly entered the chamber, the place was dark, desolate; she was afraid.  

The corridor within the chamber seemed to stretch for eons, and at the end was a chair, a throne riddled with the bones of Slayers past—very much dead.  She wasn't sure how she knew the fact they were the bones of Slayers, but something inside her told her as much.

She held herself tight as she passed through the freezing corridor, the light off the flame flickered lightly as she continued through, "Buffy?  Where are you?  Everyone's been looking for you!"

She heard a low rumbling chuckle, one that sounded like the quaking of the earth.  She swallowed hard, "Where am I?"

"My kingdom, darling," the man grinned as he popped into existence, smoke dissipating from the throne.  He sat on his throne; one leg slumped on one armrest, his left arm on the other, holding his head up.  He watched her, sizing her up…and he looked bored.

"You're not what I expected.  I thought you'd be bigger.  The way they talk about you luv, its like you're this…super…girl, of evil."  He grinned, "I like that in a Slayer."  He stood up, flicking his black leather duster behind him and he grinned, licking his fangs lightly, running his hand through his platinum hair, "Spike here's been a bit…hungry…for a good fight."

"Where's Buffy?"

"Slayer she's dead; finite, finished, done, over.  So ten minutes ago."  He shook his head, "I'll never get you Slayers…you want to save the world and you want to destroy it at the same time.  Simply daft you lot are."

"We're not daft, and we don't want the world to end…"

"Don't you?"  He grinned seductively as he rushed toward her from behind, grabbing her torso with one arm, her throat in his other hand.  His brow furrowed farther, and she could feel the glowing yellow eyes on her neck.  

"No."

He whispered in her ear seductively, "You don't remember the rush of the kill?  The feeling of power course through your veins feeding the lust, only the lust begs for more; you watched their life drain before your eyes, you looked death in his eyes and you reveled in it.  You're evil to the bone, tell me once again, and deny that which you are, evil."

She growled, glaring at him, grabbing his hands and tossing him away, "I am not!"  She was trembling, not of fear, not of hate, not of loathing, but of want—she could feel the truth, and she wanted it; that terrified her.

He chuckled, his insane laughter growing larger and he stopped abruptly, "You best keep that in mind."  He was suddenly up, the cold walls melted away, as did the throne of dead Slayers, and she watched him eerily float off the ground, "I trust you have things to do now.  There's a soul you need to find, and no its not Buffy's.  Your purpose lies elsewhere, don't get lost…the abyss is coming…"

He was gone in another cloud of dark purple smoke as his voice lingered in the air, "The Abyss is coming…"

She looked around, and she could feel the emptiness chasing her, the depth of hate, the depth of lust, death itself followed her and she froze, she couldn't do this.  She couldn't face it…

Faith closed her eyes and did the only thing she could do…

     She ran.  

Past the houses, past the trees, through the forest, she had to get away.  

She looked back, but he could see nothing.  

She had to keep running, there was no other way.  She had to run; she couldn't fight.  It was going to take her over.  

She looked back, nothing.  

No matter how hard she ran, the faster she got she could still hear the pattering and pounding of the steps from the running beast behind her.  It was gaining on her, faster and faster—it was so strong, it was so fast, it was tougher than anything she'd ever faced before.

_I have to get out of here; that thing is coming and I can't fight it_.

Faith was the Slayer, death, absolute and she feared the darkness that followed her; she was Supergirl, one of the strongest heroes in the world, and whatever Darkness followed her now, terrified her more than any foe she'd faced.  

This foe felt darker, colder…

…_part_ of her…

She tripped, rolling into a tree and she growled, "Damn it no," and stood up.  

She could feel it near her, and she stood up taking her fighter's stance, "You cannot have me!  I am not yours to take, I am the Slayer, I will slay you.  I am Supergirl, I can stop you…"

The being cackled before her, she watched it approach, darkened by everything, and she backed away, "No you won't…"  

Faith, Supergirl, whoever she was, couldn't speak, couldn't move, she stood still trapped like an animal in a cage.  The figure wore a dark cloak concealing her identity, Faith tried as hard as she could, but couldn't make out the face.  A part of her felt a tinge of recognition, the other part of her shook it away.  

"You cannot deny who you are…"  The figure announced her voice familiar.

     Faith trembled, she hit the tree behind her, and she gripped it for dear life.

     "I am everything you are—I am what you come from…" 

The moon was full and it's dark light shone on the figure now, "We are absolute—we are one…"  

Faith shook her head, as she watched it move closer, as it started to unhitch the cloak, "There's no way to fight me, I am within you always, it's who you are—nothing else matters for you are always alone.  This is who you are, forever—it's no use fighting, you must accept it all—the dark part of you; the part you are afraid of, the part you keep running from.  There's no running from this—it's your destiny—the dark, the light, it's all in you…" 

Faith couldn't face it, "You're wrong, I don't need this, I'm better than this.  I…I can save myself, there's no dark…"

She watched the cloak flutter to the ground, and the pale moon's light touch the face of her stalker, her dark hair, her thin frame, her mischievous smile, and her pale skin; her cold stare, her cold brown eyes; Faith.

"You're me…"

"I'm you.  You're I.  We're two who are one."

She felt herself involuntarily change, she was Supergirl, her blond hair fell over her shoulders, her clothes were different, back to her blue outfit with the symbol of hope on her chest.  Supergirl stood there confused, but Faith just laughed, "You haven't figured it out yet have you?"

She shook her head.

"I brought you here."

"But why?"

Faith stared at her, "To know who you are.  We can't be me, we can't be you, we must be us."  
     Supergirl sighed, as she gave Faith a look of distress.  Faith moved closer, but Supergirl managed to inch away.  "You're that afraid."

She nodded.

Faith put her hands behind her back, "You saved me."

Supergirl looked into her dark eyes and quietly said, "You saved me."

Faith nodded, "We saved each other, and now we have to be each other.  But the only way you can be Faith, the only way I can be you, the only way for us to truly be merged…is to accept the parts of me you fear, because I am you, babe."  She winked lightly.  

Her face fell, "Maybe I'm not really the real Faith, but perhaps…fears symbolically formed into being, but I'm Faith's dark side, your dark side and you have to take my hand, or you'll be lost again.

"You'll learn soon to pay attention to your dreams; they'll come in handy.  There's a plan for everyone, especially the Slayer, and you too, Supergirl.  The two of you were meant for this, but you need to work together.  Take my hand, be all that you are, because without the dark part, you're nothing.  

"I am in your heart, your mind…your soul.  You can't run from me.  Accept me now, and move on…or…"

Supergirl hadn't even noticed how close they were now, she stared at Faith or at least the dark side of herself and she nodded, this was the deciding moment.  She was Faith, she was the Slayer, and she was Supergirl.  They were two who are one, denying Faith, her past, would be damnable, and so she did what she had to; she clasped onto the being's hands before her, and she watched Faith smile, "Its nice to finally meet you."  

Supergirl's eyes watered as the past flooded through her, perhaps not the entire images, but the feeling, the pain, the emptiness…and she collapsed on her knees, the world swirling beneath her.  

She looked up, and she was back at the start, the sandy desert.

"Did you have fun?"

Supergirl…Faith.  

Faith.

Faith blinked, and she smiled lightly as she stood up, wiping the sand off her looking up, smiling lightly, "No, but finding yourself isn't supposed to be."

Buffy smiled lightly, grinning, "Good."  The two stood together in an endless desert, the world spread out for an eternity, they were alone, the chosen two.

Faith stared at her, "For a dead chick, you're looking good."

Buffy chuckled, staring down, "At least I'm not in the doll dress."  She wore the tan outfit of her death, though Faith wouldn't have known that.

Faith placed a strand of her dark hair behind her ear as she gave Buffy a nod, "So, why are you here?"

"I don't know, I just happen to be an image of mind.  You brought me here.  I should be chilling in heaven."

Faith shook her head, and stared at Buffy for a long time before quietly saying, "I'm sorry…"

Buffy fanned it off, "It's of the past.  You're not the Faith you use to be."  Her green eyes twinkled with hope and she gave Faith a sincere look, "Things change, people die, heroes fall, villains rise, its part of the grand scheme of things."

Faith nodded, "So I'm learning."

Buffy chuckled, "You're going to fail Faith, you'll fall…"

Faith's brow furrowed as she stared at Buffy.

"But don't beat yourself up about it, it happens.  You're not perfect; you know that.  People will like you, some won't.  I know who you are, who you were, and who you will be…"  She smiled lightly, "And I'm proud of you."

Faith's heart lurched, and she choked up, "Proud?"

"Little sis, you came a long way, and it was about time you were complete, not so lost."

Buffy stared at her, coming near her, "Remember, we walk, we talk, we have friends.  We're not alone, we walk with the people, we _are_ the people.  We're the firemen when the flood rolls.  We're the Slayer….

"_You're_ the Slayer; the guardian angel."  

Faith nodded lightly.

Buffy took a deep breath, and spread out her arms and jokingly replied, "Being dead has its perks, you get to help people, be in their funky dreams…."  

She watched as the sun started to go down, "Its about that time.  Take care Faith."  She winked at her, "You ready?" slowly cupping Faith's cheek gently in her palm.  

White light and red-yellow flames surrounded her, fading into blackness.  

Her eyes fluttered open, and she slowly sat up, "Wow."  Faith rubbed her eyes lightly, "Some dream."  She held her knees tight, and laid her head on them, watching the sunrise, clearing the way for dawn and she smiled, "It's a new day."

She wasn't calm, she was still nervous, and she was still worried about everything—but she wasn't empty.  

She cared.  

She hurt friends, she killed, and she cared.  

She wanted to make amends, she wanted to be the hero—the villain thing was just so passé; she cared. 

She smiled; _I care_.

She moved off the bed, heading for the door, but before going to the kitchen, she turned back, staring at the bed.  Dreams were strange, they never made sense, and in truth, she hadn't a clue what the hell was going on in her head, she probably never would.  However, as she turned to leave, the image of Buffy's bed in her mind, Tara's voice overflowing her mind, "You don't get it yet.  Why you're here.  What's to come?  You don't have a clue, do you?"  It wouldn't have bothered her so much, if Spike's voice hadn't cruelly whispered, "The Abyss is coming…"

She hadn't a clue what to expect.


	6. Lying In Wait

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Lying in Wait_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

Author's Notes: AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl.  This contains lyrics from a band named K's Choice, a very good band (Virgin State of Mind, Everything for Free, I'm Not An Addict, and Wait are some of my favorites – but there are more you should check them out).

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To all of you who've read this and sent me a review and continue to read this (especially those who've sent some through e-mails) I thank you, I'm finishing this for you.

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

=====

I don't know who you are

But you seem very nice

So will you talk to me

Shall I tell you a story

Shall I tell you a dream

They think I'm crazy

=====

_There's something about the way she walks, the way she moves – it's like a mystery, a riddle waiting to be solved.  I often wonder what it is that I see; the girl I fell in love with, the wonderfully giddy teenager that's there, or the cold hard killer she is now...though I'm not even sure about that anymore._

_Nothing ever seems to make sense anymore, its like she's lost who she is – her very being._

_I could say I should be worried, but I find it oddly alluring, the way she dresses – so dark, so gothic – the way she wears her hair: up in a ponytail that although seems childish, is done up in a way that you can't help but know to be wary of this vixen, this Slayer._

_I'm a demon, I should loathe her, I should kill her – but I can't.  _

_I find myself unable to draw myself away from this Siren, her song louder than any music in the world, her voice sweeter – oddly annoying at the same time – than any woman I've ever met.  Her song isn't of notes, and ties, or octaves, but of fighting, grit, horror, blood...my kind of music._

_This Faith, this girl, this Slayer, I was so drawn to four years ago when she first came to my attention, the primal energy, the surging anger mixed with chaotic fear dazzled me, drew me to insane lust – the corruption was so close I could taste it._

_She was a game, a test – the fact that she was a Slayer-to-Be only heightened the ecstasy._

_They all think it began because of a broken home, because of a lust of darkness that stirred within her, the Mayor...but in truth its far more mysterious than that, far more seeded than trivial things as such; it was me.  _

_I did it.  _

_I fed her to the masses, I fed her to the proverbial beast, and she loved it._

_Me?  _

_Oh, how silly of me and quite rude – I may be a demon but I do have some semblance of manors – I've neglected to introduce myself.  I'm the high priest of a demon's cult, or at least I was before Supergirl and my lovely Faith disposed of him.  My name, if human ears heard it, would cause your head to explode, so I just go by 'Buzz'.  Its got a certain ring to it, don't you think?_

_Yes, well back to Faith..._

_I'd like to say that Faith was easily able to be knocked down, an easy turn over to evil – she was anything but.  You people think that evil is created in a day, if only it were that easy.  I had to get her to want this, I had to lure her – tempt her.  _

_And every time I won, I grinned with a content wise-assed smile._

_The past, you see, is the darkness we all face.  Its a fickle thing time, you can't ever change the past, it haunts you, shades the present, and eclipses the future – I rather love that aspect of thinking.  _

_Faith, my dear children, was a God-fearing child.  She was, truly.  Then she met her mother's first boyfriend after her father, and well..._

_Let's just say things seemed somewhat…bleak, if you will._

_I was there to lead the way, give her a little nudge.  _

_Now, you humans, you doers of good, you're thinking, 'Evil bastard, you twisted her, you made her hate, you made her into the beast she is!'  _

_Well..._

_Yes.  _

_And most importantly, you should loathe me; I'd kill you in a second.  But also remember this: she wanted it; she needed it.  The doubt was there, the need was there, the lust was there – I just exploited it.  Though I knew she was always empty, I knew even when she was the Slayer she wasn't ever complete, that she'd never be satisfied.  That's when fate and I and the Powers that Be pulled some strings, and you know the Faith of now – so very different from her former self, so different from her past._

_She's going to have it hard, this new Faith, and despite what you might think, she's all Faith – even if she doesn't know it yet.  She's had the dreams, however 'freaky' they might be, they're trying to tell her something, and we've all figured it out – we're the unseen majority, yes, even I, but a person never understands their true worth.  _

_Faith never understood it._

_And that's where I'll get her._

_What?  Just because one loves someone doesn't mean they won't kill 'em if they have to – plus there's this whole bleeding demon part of me; don't look so surprised.  I'm very well aware of these things._

_There's a great war about to be fought, and the sides at this moment are … well, they're not even, the good team seems to have…well, the scales are in the "bad guy's" favor, to put it mildly.  _

_…grinning has becoming my new favorite expression; I've just realized that...  _

_Anyhow, you see, there's a balance to be kept, Evil has gotten the upper hand, despite what the fairy tales tell you about 'good winning always'; that's rubbish.  We've had our shares of victories, I mean look at the Spice Girls, or the Boy Band phenomenon, don't tell me you think those were acts of God?  At any rate, the truth of the matter is, Faith's been given a card, quite different from just being saved from Death, yet again.  There's a reason for everything._

_…Hang about…._

_…just a moment, I think…_

_…I think I hear someone coming.  _

_Oh damn cloaked baboons, always getting something wrong, needing something; I'm afraid we're going to have to cut this little chat of ours.  I'm dreadfully sorry, I'd love to reveal all the secrets of the universe, even express some of my most favorite beheadings, and 'evil triumphing' stories, but sadly I can't; I'm sure you're just heartbroken._

_But stick around, the fun's just begun._

==========

Watch me, I'm coming closer

I am the mood you're in tonight

Pretty poser, perfect Armageddon bride

I am a circle, it feels right

I am the one who swallows light

Multiplying parasite

Perfect features, perfect sight

==========

"You try our patience Buzz," Lojeh paced through the blond man's cellar, "the planets are aligning, and the evil is about to pop from its shell, and Valados is still trapped in the dimension he should be free from."  Lojeh glared at the calm and collected Buzz, "You swore to us that she would be the one, that her blood would let him out!"

"And she was, just…not at the right time."

Lojeh continued to glare as flames sprouted from his eyes.

"Now, now, please do be calm.  Playing with magical forces – fate – is tricky business.  Do you realize the amount of pressure I'm in; I mean it's utterly ridiculous."  Buzz gave a low sigh as he gave Lojeh a small smile, "My dear friend," he stood up heading straight for him, "our Lord, our Valados will be free, and it will be by the blood of the 'two who are one'.  If you want to foolishly go into battle prematurely, then by all means war on!"  Buzz's eyes dimmed, and his voice became utterly low, down to almost a whisper that was lined with cold frost, "But if you want the true power, if you want what's truly in store for the world, then you do as I tell you.  You bark when I say bark, or you will be sent back to the pit of inferno you came from," he shouted, "is that clear!  I do not have time for your pitiful ranting, or your insufferable whining.  Valados will be free, give me time and you will have your fallen angel on a stake ready to be blooded!"

Buzz sneered as he stormed out of the room, glaring at Lojeh, "You do not wear the pants in this family, is that understood."  After a second he smiled sweetly, "Get some rest, you've got that big ritual sacrifice tomorrow evening, please do remember the s'mores; a good time is had by all when marshmallow's are involved," he mused and walked out the door whistling.

_Lojeh is quite a good chap, I truly believe that, but I also believe he's a sniveling little demon that wouldn't know a good plan when he smelled it.  I feel rather sorry for the bugger – he doesn't realize I'm going to kill him in a few days.  Oh don't get me wrong, I'm a big follower of command, but I take orders from no one but Valados, and that demon is hardly worthy of our time.  _

_That… _

_…and it'll be fun._

You must be wondering what I'm doing here instead of your wonderful Supergirl, who is now residing in my dear Faith, well I'll tell you – I'm bored, and while she's off in self-discovery, I am here having to deal with the armies of hell.

_I am definitely not a good man, hardly man really, but yes, you will hate me, even more so than you did five minutes prior._

_Or, you'll just love to hate me; I don't really much care._

_Ah, the lovely couple – look, over there, by the tree kissing, all warm and toasty; it makes me sick.  I mean, if it were kissing to get a good shag, fuck, wild monkey screw in or two, hey my kind of couple, the groping kind, but when something's utterly…cute…its revoltingly disgusting.  _

_I'd love to ram a knife or two in them, but damn if I didn't forget my utility belt back in the Batcave (yes, we demon types do know about the secret ids of the world – we're cool like that you know)._

_The growl…_

_Oh the wonderful growl that's the answer to the horrible site before me, the vampires circle around them, the girl screams as her boyfriend shields her in a valiant attempt to be brave, and I'm sure he'll try and attack them; oh I was right, the gimp._

_I do love it when they just mindlessly grab them by the arms, break them, and bring them mercilessly to the ground; it puts a little song to my heart.  Ooh, and my favorite part, they slash open the throats, they drink passionately and the girl backs farther into the tree watching in horror, her eyes tear-y eyed, and well, let's face it: she starts to run.  The vampires who weren't part of the 'taking down' of the young gimp here are after her._

_One of them looks back at me, stares at me with those little beady glowing piss-colored eyes and he staggers back afraid, he should be – I'd rip him to shreds in a second, I'm a demon of chaos, who knows what I might do?_

_I can hear a wooden stake pierce through flesh, and break the ribcage, and when I look up, I see a woman and a man, the woman with red hair, her eyes dark as my soul, and the man next to her, his valiant heart racing.  Great, the resistance is here!_

_Though the girl, the red-headed witch is powerful, I wouldn't go up against her without seeing what she could do first, but a witch is crafty like that, she could be about anything…if you push the right buttons.  _

_Poor little vampires, they're dust._

_Not that the two are a formidable team, the boy is just the man with the crossbow, they need to fear that witch, there's something about that one there…_

_I'd rather not watch the dusting; too much dust in the lungs is bad for a demon._

_Oof.  _

_Damn it.  _

_Damn it, damn it, damn it.  These are new Gucci-fucking-shoes, who the hell bumped into me and knocked me on my face?  I'm oh so going to enjoy…_

_Oh great, the sniffling girlfriend, _"Oh dear, I'm sorry, are you all right?"

_Gotta have a little fun don't I?  _

_She looks up at me with those big reddened eyes off hers, "Oh my God, thank God, those…those…people they ripped my boyfriend apart, oh God," she convulses in sobs and its just heavenly, grinning, and smiling cannot describe what I'm doing, thankfully she doesn't see it._

"Oh you poor dear, my flat is just a few ways away, how 'bout we get you cleaned up, and give the police a ring?"  _She nods slowly, thank God she's one of those 'all-people-are-good' woman, those are the once that are the best to torture._

_Now I know what you're thinking, "He won't really do it, he'll have a heart in the end and she'll be ok…"_

_No, darlings, she really won't._

_She'll die._

_It will hurt._

_And believe me when I tell you this, I will most definitely have fun._

_Have a great night little ones, have mommy or daddy tuck you in at night and tell you about the world being such a wonderful place, and delude yourselves to the evil that really exits, because once I'm through with this little town, hell will definitely come to town, and its not just an idle threat._

"Now darling, let's get you to a warm place…"

"Ok."


	7. Moving On

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Moving On_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes:** AU.  That's about it.  Oh!  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  I borrowed some of the comments made in the thoughts, and the situations will probably be somewhat (if not verily) similar to the first few issues of Supergirl. 

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To all of you who've read this and sent me a review and continue to read this (especially those who've sent some through e-mails) I thank you, I'm finishing this for you.

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

     "Take deep breaths," Giles spoke gently as he circled around his new Slayer.  He watched her form carefully as she flawlessly held her position on the block, supporting all her weight on her hand.  "Keep your mind free from all thoughts, focus on yourself, the power you hold within, look to yourself for the strength."

     He kneeled in front of her as she held a serene expression on her face as she kept her eyes closed as instructed, and he stared at the gems all around, "You're doing wonderful Faith."  Suddenly the door shutting distracted them both causing Faith to open her eyes wide, and fall on her back with a large thudding crash.

     Giles stood up taking a deep breath as he whipped off his glasses pinching the bridge of his nose in slight annoyance.

     Faith stared at the ceiling for a moment before hearing a small, "Sorry," from behind her as she turned back.  She shook her head lightly, "Dawn," she said softly as she turned back to Giles.  She watched as Giles shook his head, "Dawn, did you not read the sign?"

     "Oh, yeah, but I figured you guys wouldn't mind."

     "It is there for a reason, Dawn."

     Faith sat up and turned to Giles, "It's fine Giles, did better today than I have in a long time."  She chuckled, "I'll get her out of your hair for a while, I'll see you later."  She picked up her water bottle as Dawn gave her another sheepish grin, "I didn't mean to..." 

     Faith shook her head as she took a sip of water, "Forget about it squirt, no biggie."

     "What are we going to do?"

     "Go home.  Eat.  Sleep.  And watch cartoons."

     Dawn scowled lightly, "But you do that every night!"

     Faith smiled lightly, "I know."  She took a deep breath, "I'm kidding; I don't think there's much that I can do."  She hovered over the counter as Anya counted her beloved money.  Faith grinned as she watched Anya's hands take hold of the bills with her 'mine-all-mine' smile.  For an ex-demon, she was pretty cool.

     Faith turned back to Dawn, "Yeah, well, I still need to keep an L.P.  With the entire Sunnydale P.D. out for me, I really can't afford to be spotted anywhere."

     "But Faith, you've been here for a month.  School starts in two weeks and I really need new clothes!  You do too!"  Dawn moved closer, lightly taunting Faith, "There's a big leather pant sale..."

     Faith glared at her lightly, "Damn you."  She bumped her head on the table, "I can't."

     Dawn nodded, "I know."  She gave Faith a pat, "I wish there was a spell to make people forget."

     "There is, I'm sure," Faith replied.  

     Willow's ears perked up as she stared at Faith, _I knew it; she's looking for a way out_, she thought.

     Faith fiddled with the drawstring at the base of her sweater as she quietly said, "But I don't want people to forget, its like getting away with murder," she waited a beat before adding, "ok, it _is_ getting away with murder, and it's still wrong."  Her brow furrowed, "It'd make things easier though..." 

     Willow's brow furrowed as she stared back at the book in front of her.  Faith?  Not looking for the easy way out?  Nothing ever made sense anymore.  

     Dawn cleared her throat, "I don't know Faith, I mean, maybe there's a way to get people to...y'know drop the charges, or..."  She sighed, "I just wish you didn't have to hide out all the time."

     Faith chuckled, "Yeah, like be invisible."  She grinned, and messed with Dawn's hair, "Not gonna happen D."  She turned back to Willow whose shoulders tensed up as she caught her staring, and Faith watched as Willow avoided Faith's eyes.  She looked back down at her bottle as she quietly whispered, "She's never going to forgive me."  

     Anya grinned as she stuffed the wad of cash before her, "Money!  Isn't it glorious!"  She took a whiff of the wad and grinned, "Its like having sex, only without the sweaty parts, and the heavy breathing...."  She hugged the bundle of dead presidents, "God I love retail."  Faith watched her and blinked, and she turned to Dawn; both exchanged a questioning gaze before bursting into a fit of laughter leaving Anya with a blank expression on her face.

*          *          *          *          *

     Faith brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she lay in Buffy's bed staring at the ceiling.  She lay there in her sweats, her hair up in a disheveled ponytail and she was tired.  She'd never been this tired, she'd never had to work herself to tone her body – ever.  As just Supergirl, she was fit by default.  As the Slayer, she was more fit than any human on earth – that wasn't a meta human – and she never really had to work to stay that way, it came naturally.

     She'd forgotten about the work in the beginning, the feel of mortality, and it was back.  Oddly enough.  One would think that after three years of fighting as a Slayer, they'd keep their humanity, but as she stared at Buffy, she herself knew more than anyone did how false that was.

     "You're rambling again," she whispered quietly to herself.

     She stared at her bag on the floor and grinned sitting sat cross-legged on the bed, concentrating on her bag, and slowly it levitated above the air; she grinned, Faith had almost forgotten her other powers, now that she was the 'Maid of Might'.  However, as it made its way toward her, she let it fall back down, hitting the edge of the bed and all her belongings leaked out.  If she did that, it'd only be abusing her power.

     She sighed lightly, _This whole conscience thing is just perfect_.  She chuckled to herself, _Yes, well you did want to redeem yourself girl_.

     She stood up reluctantly as she started stuffing things in her bag, but she stopped as she pulled out two books.  She stared at them lightly, and chuckled, "Oh God."

     She sat back down on her bed as she opened one of the books up lightly, "I write stuff?"  She blinked, memories flooded through her as she remembered spending hours on end just scribbling.  _Odd_, she thought.  Nevertheless, it didn't matter, her body involuntarily grinned as she read the passages, and her eyes dimmed at the darkness of the poetry and prose.

     She closed the book and placed it on the desk by the window, and stared at the leather cover of the second book she held in her hands.  She touched the cover lightly before opening up to the first page, as she read aloud, "The Diary of Faith L. Danvers."  It was thick, large, who knew how long she had kept it, she certainly couldn't remember.

     "Faith," someone called behind the door.  

     She set the book down with its partner and quietly replied, "Come in."  She sat quietly on the bed, sneaking a look back at the Diary.  Giles stepped through the door, and cleared his throat, "How are you?"

     "Good as ever."

     He nodded, wiping his glasses clean.  She sighed, "What is it now?  Did the council go berserk and are going to hunt me down again?"  Giles laughed as he shook his head, "No, though I have spoken with them coincidentally, and they're perfectly fine with our request – I found it odd as well, but with no Slayer on their hand, and you willing to turn a new leaf, they really didn't have much of a choice."

     She grinned, "Good."

     "Faith…"

     The tone of his voice; it was so serious, and it was definitely scaring her deep down inside, "Giles?"

     He smiled lightly, "I know…I know when you first came to us you had dropped out of school."

     _Oh God_.

     "And although I thought it wrong at first, when I was training with Buffy, I now see why she faired so well."

     _Oh dear God_.

     "I think it best, if you enrolled back in school."

     _Kill me now_.

     "I think that if you were to be put back in an atmosphere where you can interact with other people, it might help better your…"

     "Sanity?" she offered lightly as a joke.

     He gave her a small smile, "No.  I mean that perhaps you'll make new friends, give you more to your life than just the slaying."

     "The Scoobies are leaving…aren't they?"  She fiddled with her fingers.

     "No…at least not now."  

     She shook her head, "I'm fine, Giles, really."

     "Faith, Willow has school at UC Sunnydale, Xander is making a new business, and Anya and I are running the Magic Shop, I hardly think they're considering leaving because _you_ happen to have come back in their lives."  He moved closer to her, "I want you back in school because I saw how effective it was for Buffy.  Yes, she worried about midterms, and principals and teachers not liking her, and the traumas of adolescence, but you need to be a kid again Faith, you're 17."  

     She looked down, "I know what you're trying to do Giles, but…I don't know if I'm ready to face kids my own age, I mean God…"

     He smiled, "I know."

     Faith blinked, "Giles, I can't."

     "Pardon?"

     "Go to school, I can't.  With the Sunnydale P.D. after me?  No way, I'll get busted in a second the minute I walk on that campus."  

     Giles sighed as he stood up fiddling with the lamp on Buffy's desk, "No."

     Faith stared at him blankly.

     He gave her a long stare before he quietly said, "The Council has ways of making…things disappear, like criminal charges."

     Faith blinked, _Oh my God_.

     Willow happened to be outside the hall when she heard and she growled, "What?!"

     "Oh dear," Giles muttered.  He turned back to face Willow, "The Council has pulled strings to have the charges against Faith be dropped."

     Willow glared at Giles, "Dear God, the extent you people go; she killed people!"

     Faith stood up, "I have to side with Will on this, it isn't right."

     "My name is Willow," she said coldly as Faith stood back taking the bitterness as Willow vented on.  "Giles, how could you agree to that, I mean she's a cold-hearted killer…"

     Giles stood up, taking a stand in front of his Slayer, and he glared at Willow, "Now you listen here, Willow, I understand your reservations around her, and I understand the hardships you've endured at her expense, but do not, I repeat do not speak about Faith that way now."  He turned back to look at her, "You are too blinded by your sniveling hate to see the truth, and I'm very sorry Willow that you feel the way you do, and I'm sorry for having to attack you like this, I've always thought the world of you, but this ends now!"  Willow stared at him hurt, like a lost puppy.  

     Faith stared in disbelief, and watched as Willow turned back and headed down the stairs.

     Giles stood there unmoving, his heart crumbling.  Faith quietly said, "I'll go talk to her…"

     "You best not…"  Faith held her hand up signaling him to stop, "Giles, she won't listen to you now, you've just hurt her in a big way."  She smiled lightly, "Even if it was defending me, which, if you think about it, is a lot to her."  She chuckled, "Besides, what's she going to do to me?  I already know she hates me," she stared at him, "if you go she'll say something you'll both regret."  With that said she moved out of the room.

*          *          *          *          *

     Willow held herself as she sat outside, the first of the autumn leaves began falling from the trees, and she sighed.  She heard creaking footsteps and she bitterly growled, "Leave me alone Giles."

     "Nah, he's back inside, it's the other person you love to hate."

     Willow blinked, _Faith_?  "Go away."

     Faith sighed, sitting next to her.  "Fall, the season before Death."  She turned to Willow and quietly said, "I know you hate me, I see it every day; I hear it in your voice.  I can't make you like me, Lord knows I don't like myself, but just because you hate me doesn't mean you should take it out on Giles."

     Willow growled, "You have no reason to talk…"

     "I'm not the one beating up on my father figure."

     Willow blinked, "I…"

     "…just lashed out on him because you are angry at me, not too cool Red."  Willow sneered to herself, some of the old Faith coming back; and in that moment she, for the first time, realized she used 'old Faith' in reference to the dark-haired Slayer next to her who caused her stomach to fill with bile.

     "Look, I don't like you."  

     Willow blinked, "_You_ don't like _me_?"

     "I mean come on Willow, why shouldn't I?"

     "Because, I'm…I'm a good person, I help people, I'm decent, I…"  

     Faith gave her a shrug, "The only side I've seen is the vindictive, angry, bitter, grudge-keeping redheaded girl, who lashes out on those she loves."  Faith looked at her shoes, "I can't make you like me Willow, no more than I can make you forgive me.  No matter how hard I try to do the good little girl thing, no matter how many times I will save the world, I'm not going to be anything but the 'psychopathic cleavage-y slut bomb that says, 'oh look at me, I'm five by five' to you, right?"

     Willow blinked, _How did she know that I said that_?

     "But I accept that, I'm never going to be Buffy, and I'm a lousy replacement, but I am moving on.  And I know you'd love nothing more than to see me die when the next vamp passes me by, and you know what, it'll probably happen…"

     Willow shot head up and gave Faith a look of horror, "I'd never…"

     "Grenades?"

     Willow smirked and shook her head, "I've been that…"

     Faith nodded, "But I understand, and I don't care.  I deserve it."  She touched Willow lightly, who stiffened at first, but then relaxed, "But Giles doesn't deserve it.  He's only trying to help me fit in – no matter how hard that'll be."  She stood up, and started to go back in, "Come back inside and tell him you're sorry, you're his favorite aside from Buffy, you know?"

     With that last sentence she moved inside leaving Willow alone in the cold, numb.  

     In utter shock.

     She rubbed her arms for warmth and although she hated Faith, she knew how right she was, however unfathomable the notion was, and entered the kitchen where Giles sat drinking tea alone.

*          *          *          *          *

     Faith closed the door behind her as she smirked lightly, at least she helped mend things between Willow and Giles, and whether or not Willow was her bud didn't matter.  Though she knew so herself that she desperately wanted Willow to forgive her, to be her friend, but it would never happen, _And you have to remember that_, she thought quietly.

     She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling when she turned to look on her desk, the thick books lying on Buffy's desk.  She stood up and grabbed the first one, _A diary huh?_

_     Maybe I can read this to give me a better clue on what happened to me, why I am the way I am.  Maybe it'll give me something to help me understand who I am._  Faith sighed, "At any rate, at least these are memories.  Thoughts.  How bad can they be?"  She sat on her bed, and opened the diary and began reading.


	8. Downward Spiral

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Downward Spiral_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes:** AU.  Spoilers for Season five Finale.  Buffy's dead, no one's bringing her back—a s far as I can tell right now at least…  In case there is confusion: the following part is excerpts from what Faith is reading from the diary at the end of Part 7.  This is also is based loosely on issue seven of Supergirl (in perhaps two instances).  So, this contains a few spoilers for that issue.  The dates are adjusted and fairly accurate as to when they happened on the show.  Some are a few weeks after when they take place in the show (not necessarily when they aired).  Finally, this contains lyrics from Pink's song "Dear Diary". 

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To all of you who've read this and sent me a review and continue to read this (especially those who've sent some through e-mails) I thank you, I'm finishing this for you.

**Feedback:** I'd _love_ to get feedback.  So, if you read this, and would like to give a guy a pat on the back, then go on ahead and give me feedback!

=====

Dear, Dear, Diary

I wanna tell my secrets

cause you're the only one 

that I know will keep them

Dear, Dear, Diary I wanna tell my secrets 

I know you'll keep them

and this is what I've done…

=====

**_This is the Diary of_****: Faith Linda Danvers**

**May 2, 1997**

     _Dear Diary_,

I use to think that he'd come back.  

That after four years of going missing, of just being gone, he'd come and we'd be a big happy family; I know better now.  Mom still thinks that though, it's sad.  She cries, and she bawls, and she prays, but he never does step through the door.  Sometimes, when she's had one too many, she stares at the door, as if willing him to come home.

     It's scary.

     I started this stupid thing cause they said it'd be a good idea, that I'd figure things out; it's a crock, I've only gotten more questions about everything.  I go to church every Sunday, and all I end up with is being confused still, probably even more.  I want to be like the other kids, so confident in themselves, so confident in their beliefs – why can't I?

     Ever have one of those days where nothing makes sense?  Yeah, well welcome to my day.

_Things Faith Did Today:_

- _Got an A on the math test_

- _Went out to the quarry for a swim_

- _Went to talk to Mary Ann – she's pregnant now, isn't that sad?  She's like the smartest ever and she has to drop out cause of Billy._

- _Had to save Lilly from getting her face pounded in by Rita._

Well, that's enough of that.

I ran into this guy today at the retreat near church while the Reverend was speaking.  He was tall, all rugged, and he had a huge nose – it was kind of cute though.  I was sitting by the tree thinking about the last time I went over to the Reverend's house, when I found out that Mrs. Varvel had left him…knowing how much of a lie that was, and seeing….  

…seeing that rug being hauled out of there bloodstained….  

God, I should've said something to someone, but who would've believed me?

Buzz had been hanging around in the tree (not sure why, thought it was odd too), he just fell out of it, it surprised the heck out of me, and he just sat there like nothing, as if he hadn't just done the most bizarre.  Mattie and Mary Ann were up in the crowd, loving the talk, getting into the feel of things while I hung around back away from everyone except this blond stranger and he just shouted, "Rubbish!"

He stared at me, as if I knew exactly what he was talking about.  He started speaking to me, telling me all sorts of things about hypocrisy, and how Varvel was just a large man telling us to 'live poor' and go to heaven while he gets fat with the money we donate.

Which…in a sense…is oddly true…

He started to wig me out much more than the usual weirdoes around these parts do, so I started to back away, freaking me out with all the answers he was giving me.  Answers to questions I had never even thought about; wrong, awful questions.  

And as I left he shouted, "Remember 'do what thou wilt…do what thou wilt…'"

When it was time for Mattie, Mary Ann, and I to leave, all I could think about was that guy, all I could hear was his voice and all those things he told me, how much sense it made – and that scared me, more than I think I realize even now.

_— Faith Linda Danvers_

June 15, 1997 

_Dear Diary,_

Its been one hell of a month, and shitty too.  Buzz has been coming around a lot more often, and I can say that it isn't all that bad.  He's…

Nice.  

Strange, I know, a creepy weirdo who is nice?  But he's not like everyone else; he's real.  He tells the truth, he says what everyone refuses to see, to think, to say.  He's picking me up tomorrow after school; he says there's something he has to show me, that it'll 'rock my world'.

My mom is seeing someone, he seems like a good type of guy, but I don't trust him.  I get this whole 'asshole' vibe from him, but he's done nothing to tell me so.  Maybe my defenses are up on him or something.  

She's drinking more.  

I usually wouldn't care, she's gotten drunk before, had one too many, but never on a regular basis like this.  Tom, mom's beau, doesn't say anything about it.  

At least she's not crying for dad to come home.

_Things Faith Did Today:_

- _Got a C on the Math Test_

- _Met Buzz for some fun._

- _Went to the mall with Buzz, who introduced me to the world of the five-finger discount._

- _Mattie and I argued over Buzz's affect on me (needless to say things aren't of the good between us)._

Mattie doesn't get it, how can I not spend as much time with her when it's only been a month since I've met Buzz.  It's not like he's my boyfriend, and it's not as if I've been totally ignoring her.  So I haven't spent the first 14 days of summer with her, big fucking deal.  What about last year when her parents took her to Paris, and I was here by my lonesome?  

I don't know, its just things are starting to get weird, or maybe it _is_ just me?  Maybe I am being different, but if I am then it's because I have reason to be different, to change.  The world isn't roses, it's needles, and I'm learning how to survive in the real world, and that's thanks to Buzz.

I haven't been going to church more often, my mom's upset about that.  I just…I don't trust Varvel, he's a hypocrite, a liar, scum, and I can't be a part of something that's just full of lies.  

I lost my book of poems the other day.  Turns out that Buzz had them, I had left them in his car.  He read them, and started laughing.  I usually don't take anything personal, but when it comes to my writing, that's something different, that **_is_** personal.  Its who I am, it's what I'm about, my feelings, my being.  

And Buzz laughed.  

He said that my stuff was good, inventive, but utter rubbish, that none of it was real.

He was right.

That's the part that tore me up, I prided myself about telling the truth, about telling what was real.  And I didn't, don't, believe any of the shit that's in it.  I burned the book.  Bought another to start the real stuff.  No more living a lie for this Faith, no way.

_— Faith Linda Danvers_

Dec 8, 1997 

_Dear Diary,_

Sex.

Its great.

It's wonderful.

It's all encompassing greatness.

It's my new obsession.

So is Buzz, my uber-obsession.

I didn't think it'd be so much fun, I thought that it'd just be a whole 'wham bam thank you ma'am' type of deal, cause that's all I've ever seen.  But Buzz makes it fun, and it's just amazing.  Ok, yeah, I'm 14 but who cares?  Mary Ann was what, 12?  Of course, I'll be hella more careful than her, the baby's due in 2 months y'know?  I don't really talk to her or Mattie anymore, they're so fucking boring, and they think they're better than I am.  Losers.

But none of that is the point.

Buzz is taking me into the forest later this week, and I bet it'll be great.  School isn't interesting me as much anymore, and I've completely stopped going to church.  My mom has started getting all drunk every day, and I'm pretty sure she's doing something more…I can see it in her eyes.

Frank's – mom's new boy toy – moved in, he's a big asshole, but what can I do?

My mom's tried to get me to go to church on her more sober days, but she hardly ever succeeds.

_Things Linda Did Today:_

- _Skipped school_

- _Buzz picked me up and we went to…party at his house for a while._

- _Wrote a couple more poems while Buzz fell asleep_

- _Started running around the mall calling attention to myself_

- _Picked a fight with a couple people_

- _Swam out in the quarry stark nude_

Buzz has introduced me to his friends; they're odd; cool, but odd.  They all dress funny, and they're all about having fun.  Stealing is becoming a bigger group ritual; we hit the malls, some department stores, even a few Mom and Pop Shops.  Its cool, I know Buzz has fun and truth be told so am I.  I'm very sure my mom wishes I were like all the other girls.  But you know what mom?  I'm not!

Buzz took me into a bar the other night, and we started a fight.  It was awesome; fighting is my new favorite thing to do.  I love the way the body can move to instill such pain.  It's like dancing, shuffling back and forth trading blows, its wonderfully sexy.  It brings out something in me that nothing else ever has before.  It makes me feel good.

_— Faith L. Danvers_

June 15, 1998 

_Dear Diary,_

Everything…is different now.

I wasn't planning to have a destiny, and I really hadn't thought that I'd amount to anything.  

We'll get into that later though.  

Buzz's shown me a lot of things, and some of them are very unsettling at how attracted I am to them, I mean he's in deep.  

Deep into something – I'm not even sure about what it is, but something tells me its something demonic (something I have to steer clear from…at least for a while).  I have to stay away from Buzz now, he's shown me stuff…stuff that I don't even want to talk about, shown me…

God I don't even like remembering it.

That night in the forest, when he tried to 'initiate' me into that cult or club or whatever, I ran away.  That should tell you something, I never run away from anything.  But no matter what I saw, or how hard I ran away, I'm still with Buzz now, I can't leave him for too long.  I even saw him today….

_Things Faith Did Today:_

- _Broke a window with my fist with Buzz - accident_

- _Broke a door down with Buzz - not an accident_

- _Stole a couple of knives_

- _Stole some food_

- _Did bad stuff basically_

- _Watched Supergirl on TV_

- _Met a strange woman…_

…named Emily Price.  

Now for the odd part.  

I was on my way home, chilling, having fun, always doing the me thing.  When I was called by name from a darkened alley, which of course any kid who was born on the poor side of town knows never to go through, so I kept walking until I saw the person come out; I knew she wasn't a threat.

She was British, and she was old.  

She called me again, and this time I answered her.  She looked relieved and said that I was in dire danger, I needed to be trained, that I should've been prepared, that I was the only one who could save the world!

Of course, I just said, "Hey, call Supergirl, call Superman, I'm Faith, what the hell could I do?"  Then she said, "You're the Slayer, you can stop them!  You've been chosen."

Now, then she gave me this really big, long, boring speech, and said that I was destined to fight vampires, to slay demon, save the world.  That I was chosen by whatever Powers that Be are up there, and what am I supposed to do?  Say, "Hey, Ok, let's get this whole vampire slayin' thing started!"

She was a fucking loon!  I knew it, I'm pretty sure others would've believed me.  And I don't know why I just didn't run, why I just didn't leave.  I might've gotten out of what I'd seen.

I saw it – everything she told me – was real, that none of it was ever fake, that it's all real.  A vampire attacked me while she was explaining everything.  It was a new vampire, I could tell because it had all this dirt.

She coached me through it, and I staked the fucker.  

He was dust in the wind, and I was frozen in time forever.  

I couldn't believe it.

I was strong.

I was fast.

And I kicked ass.  

I was Supergirl!  

Only cooler….

Ok, not really, but the point is I'm meant for something, I have a reason for being here!  I'm a chosen one.  One girl in all the world who can stop these things, these vampires, from hurting people.

I won't shit you, I was fucking terrified; I stood there ready to just run when I saw that demon for the first time.  His yellow eyes, those horrible teeth, the eyebrows were contorted; he was definitely not human, no human was that ugly (and I have seen really ugly people before).  But I knew I couldn't leave this woman, couldn't have her dying because I was a wimp - plus I was pretty sure he'd chase me if I ran.

I hurt myself when he rammed me into the wall, but I am feeling better now, oddly.  She said that I'm going to be healing faster now; I guess that's a good thing.

I'm still not sure what to do now, or how I'm supposed to feel.  

I don't know whether to be happy to have a destiny, or feel like dying because I have a destiny.  Besides, this gives me something to do, school is out of the picture, if you catch my drift.

– _Faith Danvers_

September 28, 1998 

_Dear Diary,_

She's dead, dear God, she's dead!

We were kidnapped, someone…someone grabbed me, led me to Kakistos' manor.  

I couldn't do anything to save her!  

He chained us up, knocked me out, drugged me up, and made me watch.  I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I'd never give him the satisfaction.  I scarred the fucker before Emily told me to book it.  Leave her, and he's chased me ever sense.

I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go; I'm all alone and Watcher-less.  Any other day this would've been cool, fancy-free and no Watcher to tell me who, what, when, where, and why.  

But, it's not the same.  

She's dead, she won't be telling me those things again and it's all my fault I couldn't stop him.  If I had moved a muscle…if I had just…_done_ something maybe I could've saved her!

I'm on a bus trekking my way across the U.S. just running, hoping he doesn't find me, but I can feel him like he's breathing down my neck.  

I'm heading to Sunnydale, a place where I hear I won't be alone; there's someone like me, and her name is Buffy Summers.

_– Faith_

December 25, 1998 

_Dear Diary,_

Merry Christmas, whatever that means.

I've been here for a couple months now, and when I first got here, it was pretty cool, decent place to stay, Kakistos out of my hair, no problems.  Buffy and crew were odd, nothing like I was used to but I got over it.

We're so different it's not even funny, B's just…too good-goody for me, or maybe it's just what Buzz's showed me, and what I've seen that's turned me cynical.  I don't have my mother, last I heard she O.D.ed on cocaine, and before I left Frank tried beating me into a bloody pulp, thankfully Emily had taken him out for me, who knows what I would've done to the fucker…

Emily…

I miss her.

I see Giles and Buffy and I want to just die.

Don't tell anyone that though, cause I'll lie about it; Faith doesn't care about watchers and feelings, right?  I made sure that was certain a long time ago, no more feeling anything, no more doing what's cool, or right, but what you have to do to survive.  For every minute you let your guard down, someone could snatch you up and…well, you know where I'm heading with this.

Buffy and her mom invited me to their house for Christmas, it was nice.  They had all the bells and whistles and trimmings, I even got a present or two!  But…it's so different from my life.

I feel like this is all a dream.  I'll wake up and Buzz'll be looking down at me and laughing at how I've turned out.  "Faith the big shot Slayer in the shadow of a blond cheerleader."

I haven't seen Buzz since I left Boston after Emily saved me.  I never did hear what happened to him, but what he told me stays with me, and it still rings true.  I believe him now even more than I did before after I've done the things I've done, said the things I've said, all of it.

I look at Buffy and I see everything I'm supposed to be: beautiful, valiant, friendly, sophisticated…

…happy…

And I'm not any of those things, why?

I mean I'm good looking, no man has ever said otherwise, but…I stick to myself, I am not smart like her friends and her are, let's face it I dropped out of school to do the slaying thing.  She's confident because her mother is there, and my mother gave up on raising me the day dad left, so how come I get the short end of the stick, the shaft?

Why me?

I'm just a good a Slayer as Buffy is, better even, and why does she get the breaks?

I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to be the little sister out of the limelight.  I mean this is Buffy's town, though she should be dead.  I don't mean that in a horribly sadistic way, I mean in all honesty she is supposed to be dead or I wouldn't be here.

Why is she so special?

There's a lot going through my head lately and I'm not sure about anything I'm doing anymore.  It's like I'm going through the motions, like I'm not really here.  The only time I feel alive is when I take one, a vamp that is, or when I'm in the sack, or on the dance floor.  I can't get enough of it, the emptiness that's inside ebbs when I'm on the floor, or on my back, or slamming my fist into a vampire's face.

I know Buffy feels it too, I see it in her eyes, but she fights it.

I don't.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or if it's a bad.  But oddly, I'm not really caring.

_– Faith_

February 9, 1999 

_Dear Diary,_

There was so much blood.

I didn't think the human body could hold so much blood, but he did.  God, he just came out of nowhere.  Tonight, while I was slaying, I…

God, it's just so hard to say.  Its all so unreal, like its all a dream, I keep wanting to wake up, but I know better.  The Deputy Mayor just….

Me and Buffy were out slaying, I was giving her a feel for the wild side, show her how to have fun, and I ended up not seeing him and I staked him.  

I staked a man.  

A human.  

How stupid could I be?!  

It was an accident, and I saw how much Buffy was afraid of me, and…

God, I'm a murderer.

But no.

I'm the Slayer.  It happened, I didn't mean for it to happen, I feel bad, but I can't let this eat at me, if I do … I'll just go insane.  Being the Slayer means that sometimes there are sacrifices, sometimes you just have to put your brave face forward, and I can't change what happened.

No one else can know.  

It never happened, all I have to do is go back…

I have to go back and make it like we were never there…

_– Faith_

February 24, 1999 

_Dear Diary,_

It's been two week since the fiasco with the Deputy Mayor, two weeks since I took him, weighted him, and dumped him, only to have him be found.  Buffy laid the whole 'better than thou' trip on me again, and I tried to jump ship when everyone found out it was me and Wesley, the fucking prick, tried to arrest me and take me back to England.

I'm_ not _Buffy, no way in_ hell_ I could ever be.

I tried doing it right, I tried playing by the rules and what did it fucking get me?  Huh?  Nothing but a fucking headache and being alone!

Fuck that.

I don't care anymore.

I'm in a good place now.

I'm out of the sleazy motel and into a better apartment.  I've got money, I've got food, and a wicked awesome Playstation.

I gotta say, the Mayor does got the hook-up.  

Ok, so hooking up with the bad guy wasn't exactly the greatest of my plans, but it's got its rewards.  And from the sound of things, I'm definitely on the right side of the equation this year.  Mayor's in for a wicked transformation and Buffy and Co. don't have a clue what's going to hit them.

I do wonder sometimes what it would be like if I hadn't run, or if I hadn't gone to the Mayor like I have.  Would things really be different?

I don't think so.

I'm the bitch they love to hate.

And I can so be that if they want me to.

_Things Faith Did Today:_

_-Killed a rival demon_

_-Got a new weapon to use against Buffy_

_-Learned a new technique from one of the Mayor's mercenaries_

_-Beat the living shit out of a guy who tried to cop a feel._

_-Spied on Buffy and friends for the Mayor_

They're doing fan-friggin-tastic without me, as expected.  They just have to fear for their lives that at any minute I'll come and slit their throats.  And I'd do it too, with a song in my heart.  But playing with them is cool.

Being feared is great; I have a lot of power now.  More power than even Buffy…

I never think of Emily anymore, she's dead and long gone.  She was a fool to think I could be anything more than who I am, a bad evil girl; a bitch.

_– Faith_

May 20, 1999 

_Dear Diary,_

I landed a great shot at Angel; he's down for the count.  Mayor said the stuff I shot him with was wicked painful that he should die soon.  I'm so glad.  God, the look on Buffy's face alone was enough to have me squeal with joy.  She scrambled on the road as if her entire world was coming to an end.  

I laughed all the way home.

The Mayor's got big plans for us all, he says I'm a key figure in the days to come.  At least I know I've got a place in the world.  I thought I had one as a Slayer, but that title is reserved for a blond super-hero here in Sunnydale.

_Things Faith Did Today:_

_-Killed a guy to cover up the Mayor's tracks_

_-Killed the Delivery man and saved the Mayor a few bucks_

_-Stole stuff from the Sporting Goods Store_

_-Tested out my brand new Crossbow_

_-Went to the Bronze and partied a little before starting a fight; it was fun._

I always wonder what it takes for Buffy to snap; to finally cut loose.  I am pretty sure this whole thing with Angel'll do it, I mean she knows I'm after all of them, even the Mayor is after them.  It shouldn't be too hard for her to figure out the source of Angel's pain.  If this finally sets her off, she'll come for me, she'll find me, and she'll do me in.  Or at least she'll die trying, every time I think about her trying to take me out I can't help but laugh.  Trying to imagine Buffy hovering over me with a bloodied knife is laughable.  She'd never be able to do it.

Though right now I'm not so sure…

The time I've spent here in Sunnydale, all of the things that have happened to me I can't help but feel that this is such a Buzz thing.  Like he'd work his "magic" to get me to this point, to get me to a point where I'll kill at the drop of a hat.  But that'd be crazy.

Though I get now what Buzz was trying to show me back in the forest before I ran away.  When the van pulled up after I stood there waiting impatiently, and they kicked out two people onto the grass.  I hadn't a clue what was going on until I saw them take off the masks.  Reverend Varvel and a woman I don't remember, but she knows me.  They were screaming to be let free, and Buzz just smiled as if it were all a game. 

Then came the knives.

I watched him as he hefted one up, asking if I wanted to know what real fun was about, what really feeling alive meant.  I didn't get it then; when I watched him raise his hand and bring it down fast and my eyes widened as the crimson mess spilled on the ground, I ran.

Well Buzz, I get it now.  Aren't you proud of me now?

The scary thing is…when I ask that question to the wind, I can see him laughing, and I can even hear his chortle in the wind…

Maybe it's a sign?

Oh well, tonight's the night before the Ascension, I'm going to start working out, or just relax in bed and read some comics; that's always fun.

_– Faith_

February 28, 2000 

_Dear Diary,_

I was loved.

I had friend.

I was _the_ Slayer, the one and only.

I had a family.

I had a life…

…and it wasn't mine…

It's been eight months since I've written in this thing last, and a lot has happened.  Buffy did find me, and she figured it out.  I still got the short end of the stick, but it wasn't enough to kill me.  Just take me out of the game for 8 months, yes a coma if you haven't figured it out.

The mayor gave me the ultimate chance for revenge, I was able to take Buffy's life away and give her mine.  I could've been Buffy Summers, a life where I could do anything I want with no baggage, or a paper trail of past offenses.

I had it all, I could've fucked Buffy's life from here to Tuesday….

I never expected it to affect me.  I never expected any of this.  Feeling so dirty all the time, feeling so low, feeling like I'm nothing but shit because that's all I am.

I was Buffy for a day and a half, and in that day and a half, I was able to feel….love.

Riley…soldier boy…he looked into my eyes and he said, "I love you."  It didn't matter that I was naked, that I was servicing him, he loved me….  Buffy, he loved Buffy.  I thought it was all a game, that that was all it was, that's all sex has ever been, a game with no attachments, and then he said those three words.  Nothing has ever affected me as much as when he said them, and the painful realization that they weren't meant for me.

For the first time in my life I was thanked for the job, I was 'destined' to do, and I was in Buffy's body.  I saw friends who were worried, a mother who loved me unconditionally.

It was ripped away in a matter of seconds; I went from feeling complete, whole, to feeling more empty and lost.  

I'm so cold, and it's 100 degrees out.

When I was Buffy, I had no reason to feel guilty, to feel dirty, and I wasn't.  I was Buffy Summers, the Slayer, and an innocent person dying was wrong.  The minute I looked at my face in that church I knew it was over.  I saw my dark eyes staring at me, and it was as if my soul was burning.  I knew what I was for the first time in my life, and it was most definitely _not_ a Slayer.  I haven't been since the Deputy Mayor.  I turned my back on everything because of things past, because of a life that's bitten me in the ass, because someone lured me.

In Buffy's body, I had power beyond my wildest dreams, I was energized, and I was full of life.  When my soul slipped out of hers, and eased back into mine I could feel how dead I was feeling, so run down, so out of it, so ready to give up, roll over and fall into an early grave that I've been digging since I was 14 years old.

I was so alone, so empty, and I knew I would never be the same again, I knew that I could never come back to Sunnydale and have the fun I use to have, and I knew that no matter where I went, I'd always feel this way.  And I'd be nothing but Faith, the killer, the murder, the one who needs to die, isn't that a great ending?

I'm on a cargo bus, I managed to grab my things, and catch the next thing out of here.  We've been driving for two days; I've been hiding under the covers while he stops for gas; how sad, a Slayer hiding from a man, a human.  

I'm not sure where I'm going, or where I'm headed, but it's not like it matters.

_– F.L.D._

**May 22, 2001**

_Dear Diary,_

It's hard to believe that it's been four years today that I've been writing in this thing; and it's proved useless.

I started this to get answers about who I am, about what I am, my whole point of living, and to let out some of my anger.  What I've learned is I'm a disillusioned kid, with dreams of grandeur.  

That, and I'm a bitch.

It doesn't matter anyway, it's not as if it matters to anyone but me.  

I've amounted to nothing in my time here.  I mean, I've fucked things up for myself, I'm wanted everywhere, I'm pretty sure I'll die any minute now, hopefully with a fight, but the way I'm feeling I doubt I'll put one up, I feel like giving up.  

Think maybe that's how all the Slayers who die young are before its their time?  

I had a dream today, it was about Buffy.

I thought that was odd too.

But in my dream, we weren't fighting, we were friends again.  That what I did in the past didn't matter, that all was forgiven, all that was past was past.  We were back in her room, the dagger firmly out of our reach, and we just sat talking.  Suddenly I was back on the street in Sunnydale staring up at a large tower as Dawn was fighting with Buffy.  The tower was shotty, made of scrap metal, but they kept standing there.  They were still for a long time and a portal widened in the sky; it was beautiful, but everything in my mind told me it was bad, very, very bad.

That's when I saw it.

The most beautiful site in the world…

…she jumped…

She ran the length of the tower, she nose-dived off the structure and into the portal as the dawn rose, and she sacrificed herself for those she loved, and the fate of the world – beautiful.

When I woke up I just felt even angrier, I'm not sure why.  Maybe it was cause she got a better ending of a story than I ever will, I'll probably end up getting sucked by some vamp, or hit by a car, or alcohol poisoning, nothing as glorious, or as beautiful as that.  Not that death is beautiful, that's not even my point, but she died for something, something she believed in, for people she loved; I don't' have that.

I never will.

The sad thing is…I don't care.  I never realized how much I didn't care until now, when I realized I would rather my death be painful, upsetting, and harsh because…  

…its what I deserve…

…and the sad thing is: _I hope it's soon._

**_This is the Diary of:_**** Faith?  Supergirl?  …moving on…**

August 14, 2001 

_Dear Diary,_

Well, a diary would've been helpful a month ago.  I haven't actually done one of these before, at least none that I can remember.  I picked this thing up cause I figured it would give me more insight on my life, give me a better understanding of who I was, and who I am now.  Some of this stuff is difficult to read, mostly because I know how attracted Faith was to the darkness, I _feel _it.

I've looked through some of my…her…my poems, and I like them.  I started a couple verses the other day, and I'm starting to get back into the groove of things.  I think I'll try to keep up with this, just so that I can sort through things.  God knows how muddled my head is right now, I need something to help me be abstract, and no matter how great Giles is, I can't confide in him.  I don't think he'd be too keen on his new Slayer also being Supergirl, especially since he hired her to help me.  I'm still surprised he cared at all, from the look of things I am not exactly second-chance material.  But for whatever reason I have one, only it's a lot more difficult.  I'll be struggling with two identities now.  

I wonder how things'll turn out?

I've sort of patched things up with Willow when I told her to apologize to Giles, but I doubt I did much.  Dawn, God she's a great kid, I'm so glad she's not like her sister in the grudge respect, I don't think I'd be able to cope around here without her…or Giles.

I start school next week.  

It feels odd, I've never been to school, and what memories I do have are filled with dread at the prospect of starting school – we'll see what happens.  I take my placement exam on Friday, they've 'lost' my files.  I wonder if the Council has anything to do with that?

Giles and I started combat training today, I act instinctively, he says that's good, but that I need to relearn how to fight from planned movements rather than leaving it up to chance.

While everyone's in bed I've started patrolling out as Supergirl, not going through the cemeteries, or doing the Slayer stuff, but meta-villain-wise.  I rescued a kitty from a tree, and I'm not even kidding.  I managed to keep a couple from being murdered.  Stopped a bank robbery at two in the morning.

I'll leave the Slaying and such for when I'm Faith.

_Life is odd_.

I just learned this.  I'm so glad that I have the chance to actually be part of humanity and not on the outside looking in.  And even when I was Faith alone, I never felt like I was part of the human race, as if I was always last on that chain.  I've always been on the outside, and I've always wanted desperately to be in.  The difference between being Supergirl, and Faith, was that Faith stopped caring about it, she accepted it in a perverse dark way, as Supergirl I let it fester and I just did what was right. 

But all that is gone and done with because now Faith and me are one, we're part of humanity and we know that now…  _I_ know that now.

 It doesn't mean it's going to be easy for me; I still have a lot to learn. 

Giles says that his 'evil' meter is going haywire, that something big is up.  That means I'm going to be going into overdrive soon.  Hopefully I'll be able to handle it.

I thought I saw Buzz the other night, but I doubt that he's here in Sunnydale, what would he want with a stupid little town anyway?  I have to start preparing for a big battle soon, and I'm not quite sure if I'm up to par for it, but I'm going to try my best, and I think that's all I can do.

Maybe if it's my destiny to die, then maybe it'll be worth something, and not because I gave up.  I want to die fighting for something I believe in, for someone or something I care about. 

However, something tells me that this big thing, whatever it is, knows me.  

I don't think I'll be able to fight it.

_That_ scares me.

_– Faith Linda Danvers_


	9. School Days

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _School Days_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes:** AU.  This contains spoilers for the Season 5 Finale Episode "The Gift".  In this fic Dawn is a year older than she is on the show, so she's sixteen in this fiction - ala AU-factor (woo hoo!).  And finally (but certainly not least), a big thanks to my beta-wonder Sadie, without her none of this would be possible - thank you so much NDP, :)

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To anyone who reads this, thank you.

**Feedback:** That'd be great!  Thanks.

     "Are you ready?"

     "No."

     Giles sighed, "Faith, this is deeply serious."

     Faith nodded, "I know, but I just...what if the entire thing blows up while I'm there!  Or, innocents are lost because the Slayer was in the midst; you just know that fate's a bitch and is just waiting for me to make any move to fuck it over.  I mean, look at me, I am _so_ not ready for this..."

     "Faith.  Chill.  You're babbling, and I thought I was bad," Dawn shook her head in disappointment, "It's not the end of the world!  It's school..."

     "High school to be exact, and you should know this better than anyone; school is evil."

     The three stood at the steps of the newest high school in Sunnydale, and Faith gave Giles a worry filled glance, "Don't make me do this..."

     Dawn grabbed Faith by the arm and dragged her up the steps, "Don't worry Giles, Faith'll be fine."

     Giles stood there watching the two girls go up the steps, and sighed with relief as Faith finally, however reluctant, slid through the doors, "I just hope we can keep this one in one piece..." he said quietly to himself and went back into his car.

*          *          *          *          *

     Faith took a deep breath, "I can do this; this is easy, I am _so_ ready for this."  A locker slammed shut and she jumped, "Oh God," she growled angrily to herself, "this is so ridiculous.  Here I am, nearly died three times, fought so many demons, faced my own, and I'm scared to death of this place!"

     Dawn gave her an amused smirk, "The Counselor has your schedule I'm sure.  Just, y'know, go get it.  I'm sure it's not bad."

     Faith shrugged, "Dawn, the last subject I took was Algebra, and I really wasn't very good at it."  ..._and my knowledge was vast as Supergirl, but it seems to have tapered off._  Faith cleared her throat, "Freshman right?"

     Dawn shrugged, "Sophomore.  I'm sixteen remember."

     Faith nodded, "Right."  She took a deep breath and shook her head, "God, I'm such a dork."  Dawn chuckled, "Yes, but that's not the point, is it?"

     Faith nodded, and suddenly the bell rang.  Dawn's eyes widened, "Oh God, I'm late!  I'm so dead, and on the first day!"

     Faith gave her a light shove, "Go, I'll be fine, really."

     Dawn gave her a once over and nodded, "Ok, I'll meet you for lunch later," and hopped into a run toward her first period class.

     Faith managed to wave goodbye lightly, and looked around – the halls were deserted, empty.  She walked down the middle of the main hall, and stopped in mid-step, "Where is the counselor's office," she said woefully.

     She'd never make it out of here alive.

*          *          *          *          *

     Charles Donavon sat in his leather chair and stared at the papers before him, scribbling away comments with his black pen.  He shook his head, "When will this kid learn."  He stopped writing and stared outside his window smiling lightly at the warm day, _Nothing like old sunny California to make you feel better_.

     There was a rap on the door, "Come in," he exclaimed as he continued to concentrate on his work.  When the door clicked and opened slowly, he looked up and watched as a raven-haired girl slide through the doorway raising her hand lightly in greeting, "Hi, I'm new.  I was told to come see you."

     Donavon stood up and smiled broadly, "Well hello, you must be Faith.  It is my pleasure to finally meet you."  He shook her hand, and signaled her to take seat.  He cleared his throat as he moved the papers aside, and pulled out Faith's file, "Well, the results of your placement tests came out, and you seem to be good enough to take Senior Courses."  

     She blinked.  

     "Don't misunderstand, you'll have to take the End of Course exams for some of the classes, and there are some basic requirements you need to fulfill, but otherwise you're perfectly average."  He smiled lightly, "Here is your schedule, and your first class is down the hall.  If you need anything, go ahead and stop by.  Since this is your first day, and you're still new, your absences will be waived."  He looked back down and continued to work on his previous task.

     Faith sat there stunned, and he looked up at her once again and said, "Is…there something wrong?"

     "A senior?"

     He nodded, "You seem surprised."

     She shook her head, "No, no I'm fine.  Really."  She stood up, grabbing her bag, and started out.  "Oh, and Ms. Danvers."  She looked back as he cleared his throat, "You might want to tone down the leather; it tends to get distracting."

     Faith looked down slowly and nodded her head, "Yeah, whatever."  Soon she was gone, still in a daze.

*          *          *          *          *

     She had gone through the whole day in the same daze, shocked, disturbed, horrified...and offended (mostly from the counselor).  She pushed through the doors of the Magic Box, sulking into a chair.

     Giles straightened up, while Willow worked on the computer with Anya hovering over her, "Is everything all right?" he asked.  She looked up, "Hmm?"

     "How was school?"

     "It was...great," she said hesitantly.

     "You got your scores, didn't you?" he inquired.

     She nodded, "Oh yeah."

     "Well, Faith, you did drop out, I'm sure that being a Freshman won't be that..."

     "Senior," Faith interjected as she stared up at him.  His brow furrowed, "Really?" a proud tone still emanated through his voice despite his furrowed brow, _I knew she could do it_.

     She nodded, "Senior."

     "Wouldn't that be a good thing?"  Anya quipped as she arranged the cash in the register, not at all looking up at Faith to meet her eyes.

     "Usually, but now I'm stuck.  I haven't a clue what I'm doing throughout the day; I am full of nerves in the classroom, and homework?  I can't even remember the last time I had to study, I don't even think I still can!"  She took a deep breath, "And damn it, that counselor made fun of my leather pants."  She glared at a random object that got in the way of her line of site, "Bastard," she muttered.

     Giles' eyes brightened lightly, and gently smiled, "Faith, everything will be fine.  Where's Dawn?"

     Faith blinked, "Oh no," she groaned, "I left her at school.  I didn't even see her at lunch, she must be a basket case!"

     Dawn angrily stormed through the doors of the Magic Box at that same moment huffing, "You know, when I said, 'Wait for me after school,' that didn't mean, 'Leave me alone and come to Hogwarts without me, leaving me with a group of geeks staring at me like I'm a loser.'"

     Faith shrugged lightly, "Sorry, I've just...had a lot on my mind.  I totally forgot."

     Dawn frowned, "Whatever, it's totally cool.  Just don't make it a habit," she warned.  Dawn flopped in the chair next to Faith as she quietly said, "So, what's the verdict?"

     Faith shook her head, not having heard Dawn's query, "How can I be a senior?"

     "Whoa, cool.  Faith the wonder brain," Dawn smiled.

     Giles cleared his throat, "Well, now that you've leapt the hurtle of the first day of classes, perhaps you're ready to take on another set of hurtles."

     Faith eyed him lightly, "What do I have to do?"

     "Patrol.  Clean sweep, cemeteries at first.  Keeping it simple."

     Faith blinked, "You really think I'm ready?"

     He nodded, "Yes, you've done well.  You've trained hard.  I know it's only been a month, but your reflexes seem well enough to be able to do this; I _know_ you can do this."

     Faith nodded, "Ok."  She smiled, "I can do this."  She grabbed her bag, and signaled Dawn to follow her, "I'm just going to head to Bu…Dawn's, and grab some weapons."

     "Can I come?"  Dawn asked quietly before Giles and Willow both shook their heads and shouted, "No," in unison.  Faith turned back to look at them, "Why can't she?  I mean she's sixteen."  She gave Willow and Giles a careful once-over, "I mean, didn't _you_ and Xander start patrolling with Buffy around her age?"

     Willow sighed, "That's not the point, it's dangerous for her to be out slaying with..." her voice died down as the three looked at her and she quickly added, "demons...about and all."

     Faith rolled her eyes, "Whatever, look I'm _not_ going to hurt her.  I promise.  What do I have to do to make you realize I'm _not _going to kill, hurt, maim, any of the above!"

     Willow opened her mouth to speak and was at a loss of words.  What _did_ she have to do?  Faith was evil.  At least, that's how it always had been.  Word association, word: Faith.  Association: Evil.  The fact that Faith stood there before her, trying to redeem herself sent millions of shocks through her brain, her body; her everything had started becoming muddled.  It didn't help that everything was just spinning out of control; this just added to her uneasiness.  _You just do not make sense anymore Rosenberg_, she thought.  Willow cleared her throat, "I don't know," she said lightly, "but I just...I don't trust you yet.  And I just want Dawn safe, I know Buffy..."

     "...is dead!"  Dawn shouted huffing, pain evident on her facial expression as she started glaring at Willow.  "Look, I'm not a little kid, I'm not going to break!  I'm tired of being treated as if I'm some little idiot who doesn't know the stakes, I know!  I lived with Buffy for 16 years!"  She took a deep breath, _At least in theory_.  "I've seen what happens, I know what to do.  I've staked a couple of vampires by myself too, so why don't you trust me?!"

     Willow and Giles stood back as they stared at her, and Faith raised an eyebrow, "Well, I say let her come.  It'll be a test for both of us.  I'll have someone with me to patrol with, keep me in check, I'll have a reason to be extra careful, _and_ it'll have you see if you can trust me, Willow, when she comes back alive.  Then all of you will have peace of mind that Dawn will know how to handle herself without you."

     Faith raised an eyebrow as Giles glanced at Willow, who sighed defeated.  Dawn smiled, "So, is that a yes?"  Giles nodded his head, "But please, do be careful."

     "Always," Faith replied quickly grabbing Dawn by the forearm and running out the door before the two could change their minds.

*          *          *          *          *

     The music blared out into the city of Sunnydale and Faith grinned, but started toward the left where the cemeteries lived, "Faith what are you doing?"

     Faith's eyebrows furrowed, "Um, patrolling?  Where do you think we're going Dawn?"

     Dawn shook her head, "Why don't we go to the Bronze."

     "Dawn, I love your enthusiasm for fun, but come on..."

     Dawn rolled her eyes, "Oh please, come on.  They want you to patrol, and they want me safe.  The Bronze is pretty safe, and plus it's like a vampire nest egg; I've lived around here long enough to know that.  Technically you'll be saving the world, _and_ getting your groove on."  Dawn smiled mischievously.

     "Dawn, wicked methodical, I like it girlfriend."  Faith looked around and nodded, "All right, we'll go to the Bronze, have the fun, but we won't stay too long, we'll still have to do the cemetery clean sweep."

     Dawn nodded, "Of course."

     The two girls smirked at each other heading toward the club feeling the rush of excitement as the music filled the air, and the beat pounded in their heads against the beating of their hearts.  Faith's body started heating up with an itch to get on the floor and just tear the place apart – along with the guys willing to stare, gawk, and dance with.

     _Whoa now, calm it just a tad_, she said to herself.

     The Bronze was just as she remembered it – of what memories she did have.  She smiled; the red couch was still there, the same red couch in which she, Buffy and company got to know each other a little better.  "So, Willow's not driving stick anymore..." a voice echoed through her mind, not of her own, but she knew very well it was her.  For a moment, she was trapped in the memory, the feel of jealousy, the feel of longing, and the feeling of being cast out.  When Dawn grabbed her heading toward the dance floor she came back to her senses and smiled a bit.  _What's past is past..._

     She could feel the beat pulsate through her being, through her veins, and her hips started to sway slowly at first, next her hands rubbed against her body as the speed of the music started to heighten.  Next her entire body shifted left, right, down, up, in all directions, and finally her hands moved up along her body, to mess with her hair and her eyes still were closed.  She flipped her hair back as her hands left creeping back down her thighs, and she was all grins.

     Dawn smirked as she gyrated her body near the strong girl near her, and held her hands up as she too swayed to the music, staring up at the band playing tonight.  Dawn looked around to see a paled figure walk toward the exits with a girl in his arms, talking as he did quick checks around the room and she couldn't help but frown.

     Dawn had come to a complete stop in the already sweaty crowd when Faith came up behind her, "Vampire."

     Dawn nodded, "Always can count on them to be wicked conspicuous."  Faith shrugged, "It happens."  Faith gave her a glance as she and Dawn headed out the door, "Let's party."

     Suddenly the song switched, as if on cue for the Slayer's grand entrance, and the techno beat hit the airwaves coursing through the bodies' veins on the dance floor once more, and Faith grinned, "My kind of song."  Dawn handed her a stake as Faith added, "Just stay round back, clear from him, don't want you in the line of fire."  Dawn nodded grinning to herself, finally, for once she'd be in the middle of the action, and not be on the receiving end of the recount of it all.

     Faith pushed through the door as she heard the girl giggle lightly, and the "man" announce, "I want to eat you up, you look so good."  Faith rolled her eyes as she cleared her throat, "Oh come on; you couldn't come up with a better line then that?"  She stood there with a bored expression on her face, gripping the stake to her waist.  Dawn held her own just in case, and waited for the vampire to say something.  "Slayer..." it hissed.  Faith grinned, "Yay, we can skip with the formalities."

     "Sorry, hungry now."  He growled tightening his hold on his hostage's neck as she suddenly squirmed in fear of the man she was about leave with.  Faith shrugged, "Ok man, if you're sure, I mean obviously you've never tasted Slayer blood.  I hear once you go Slayer," she grinned seductively, "you never go back."

     The vampire sneered, throwing the girl to the side.  Faith turned to Dawn, signaling her to check on the fallen hostage, and the vampire rammed Faith into the wall; she'd timed it right, this guy hadn't fed in a while, an offer like that and of course he'd forget all about Ms. Nummy Mortal.

     The Slayer grunted as the vampire tried to over power her, and she slammed her knee into his crotch: an oldie, but obviously, a trusty maneuver.

     The vampire doubled back groaning in pain as Faith slammed her foot into his face, and backhanded him into the fence, grabbing him by the collar, "You know, this reminds me of the first vamp I slayed in Sunnydale," she said to Dawn.

     The girl who'd fallen had gotten up, and ran for her life as Dawn went to check on her, so Dawn stood there watching Faith with nothing else to do, "Oh really?" she asked.  Faith nodded, slamming her first into the vampire's abdomen, "Yeah, it's when I first met your sis, and the Scoobies."  The vampire landed a powerful backhand along Faith's cheek, causing her to stagger.  "This'll be easier if you didn't put up a fight," he huffed growling, his yellow glowing eyes glaring at her.

     Faith rolled her eyes, "Oh please, and where would the fun be in that?"  A tinge of excitement, and eagerness laced her voice as the vampire went for her face once more, but Faith dodged it, slamming her foot square into the demon's stomach, and knocked him off his feet by sweeping under him.  Her stake, gripped firmly in her hand, slammed into his chest at full velocity breaking the ribcage, and piercing his heart causing him to crumble into dust.  She dusted herself off as she stood up looking up at Dawn who gave her a once over, "I give that a seven."

     Faith's face filled with a shocked expression as she lightly glared at the younger girl, "A seven?  Come on, that was an eight easy."

     Dawn shook her head, "Willow's taken vamps out with cooler banter."

     Faith rolled her eyes as Dawn laughed.  Faith ruffled Dawn's hair, "Come on squirt, let's head to the cemeteries.  If there's time, we'll come back and have a little more fun."

     Dawn shrugged, "Fine.  The Bronze was getting old anyhow."

     There was a growl and it slammed into Dawn.  She cried out in fear as the demon salivated on her, staring at her eyes breathing hard.  She coughed, "God, breath mint much?"  Faith couldn't help but laugh.  The beat of the music was starting to get to her, so she smiled, as her body started moving to the beat causing the demon's attention to deter from Dawn and toward the dark raven-haired girl a bit away.  It lifted off Dawn, staring at Faith as she thrashed from side to side seductively, and it drew nearer.  Faith smiled as she sang with the song, "Dig through the ditches, burn through the witch, and slam in the back of my Dragula..." the beat blaring through the walls of the Bronze.  While it was distracted enough, she slammed her fist into his face, continued with a twist of the hips and her foot found the demon's midsection in one swift kick.  She did a spin quickly double kicking him and he fell back onto the ground.  She came around, grabbing him by his slimy horns, and twisted the head in one quick motion.

     She stopped turning to Dawn, "You ok?"

     Dawn nodded, "Ok, now that was a ten."

     Faith smirked, "Good.  Now that we're clear that I'm a ten, let's get the fuck out of here and head toward the cemeteries."  Dawn fell instep with the dark Slayer and the two continued on their journey.

     From the shadows a blond figure emerged and smirked, "I dare say she's getting hang of this humanity bit."  Buzz smiled lightly, "Good, we'll need that."  He whistled lightly as he moved through the alley, surveying Faith's handy work.  _Not too shabby_, he thought as he kicked the demon lightly, "Get up."

     The demon stirred lightly, shriveling up into a form less than it really was and coughed, "She's a lot tougher than she looks."

     "Well, Bilbo darling, she is a Slayer.  They're built that way."  He stared off at Faith's giggling form next to Dawn and smiled, "But this one, my dear Demon, is something quite different."  He turned back to Bilbo, "Go back to the lair, and tell Lojeh that I was right, she is the right girl."  He grinned evilly, "Tell him things are going according to plan.  She'll be dead soon.  He needn't worry."

     "Where are you going Buzz?"  Bilbo asked as he wiped the dust off himself.

     Buzz just smiled, "To go say hello to an old friend."

*          *          *          *          *

     _She's a hunter, you see._

_     I smile just thinking about what's going through her mind, she could be calculating how much time before she'll have to resort to brute strength, how much her body can take.  Any escape routes on hand; that's my Faith.  She's a survivor you see.  Not like the other sniveling groups of heroes, and humans, and the lot in the world._

_     She'll do what she has to do to make sure that she'll come out on top._

_     Oh, I've missed Faith.  The fire.  The vigor.  The heat that emanates from her when she fights, when she moves.  It's a damned aphrodisiac, I tell you.  Of course, Faith doesn't need aphrodisiacs to get anyone riled up, if you catch my drift._

_     But I digress._

_     Yes sir, I am back in this stream of consciousness.  Aren't you all the lucky lot of whatever cosmic audience you are, sitting back in your chairs, with your popcorn and the little kiddies by your side.  It's a Kodak moment, isn't it?  Me and my lustful thoughts that deal with not just sex, but of pure unbridled torture and maiming._

_     I follow from a safe distance, Faith knows well enough to watch her back – I'm sure I set off her radar when we're within close proximity of each other.  Better to be safe than sorry, besides studying does seem to be a bit of an advantage right now.  Need to learn as much of this new Faith as I can.  No, not for personal gain...  Well, no that'd be a lie.  I may be a demon, and evil, but I cringe on lying – the truth is always _**so**_ much worse._

_     Look at her; she's death on two feet.  Poor vampires don't stand a..._

_     Hmm. _

_     Well…_

_     Now that's interesting, she's losing.  Oh, look, the little brown-haired girl is screaming on the floor while my lovely huntress is taking quite a wallop._

_     Well, maybe I was wrong._

_     Maybe Faith isn't the one._

_     Hang about!_

_     What's that stranger doing!  Wait now he's... why is he..._

_     Is he?  He's, he's bloody saving her!  Fucking prick.  Damn him, if Faith is to die, let her die!_

_     Ugh, damn mortals with their need to do good and doofs who are stuck in their sixties version of chivalry.  Damn blond thug walking around in his little combat gear, and his...big gun._

_     Oh, damn him._

_     …_

_     …I_ **know**_ that look._

_     …_**that**_ is not a good look.  At least not for our little operation, fucking Soldiers with war on the mind, and the lovely ladies on the ground with their need to make them safe and coddle them.  I loath little soddin' gimps such as him._

_     Could this get any worse?_

     "Riley..."_ she says.  Oh, damn it, now that's just gone and made me angry.  She knows the muscle-brained bugger.  And that look they're sharing.  She's not.... and he's not... they aren't..._

_     Oh, damn it all to hell.  This is actually going to be _work_._

_     Fuck._

_     Damn them all._

*          *          *          *          *

     Dawn stood up rushing to Faith's side, but Riley helped her up first.  She watched the two carefully as Faith exclaimed, "Riley," in a questioning tone mixed with relief.

     He smiled, and Dawn, for one, couldn't believe that they'd grown to be friends after all that had happened.  But hey, who was she to judge?  "Hey Riley," she added as she surveyed the area, kicking the pile of dust where the vampire once stood.

     Riley smiled giving Dawn a slight nod, "Hey Dawn."

     Faith gave him a questioning glance, "What are you doing here?  Not that I'm not glad you are."

     Riley shrugged as he placed his stake its place on his suit, "I got bored.  That place was nice, but it wasn't me."  He dug his hands in his pockets, "Besides, I knew once you got here you probably wouldn't be patrolling right away, and somebody needed to come patrolling with the hellmouth minus an active slaying Slayer."

     Faith nodded lightly as she lead them out toward to the entrance of the cemetery, "I see, very instinctive of you," she joked.  Dawn grinned, "You just missed ole Sunnydale, didn't you?"

     Riley chuckled, "Ok, yeah, just a little," and playfully poked Dawn's side.  He cleared his throat, "That, and to come pay my respects."  His face fell lightly and he started speeding up, "How about we get something to eat?"

     Dawn gave him a soft smile, "I'm so there."

     Faith sighed and gave Riley a slight nod, "Food would be good."  Then quietly said, "But I'll have to take a rain check, I have to get to school tomorrow."  She stared at Dawn and Riley's faces and she shifted uncomfortably, "I know, it came to a surprise to me too, but let's face it, I've been out of the loop for a while, and I want to get this right."  She smiled, "But I promise, after the first few weeks I'll be back to my old self again."

     "Just not the psychotic broody self," Dawn added lightly.

     Faith nodded, "Right, not that self."

     Dawn gave Riley a pat on the back and said, "Sorry Ry, but if I don't go back with her, they'll jump all over her, and Willow's already in the shovel-in-the-face kind of mood."

     Riley nodded and mouthed an, "Oh," knowing exactly what that meant – he didn't want near any of that.  "All right, you two have a good night's sleep."

     The two teens nodded and started back home before Riley hesitantly called Faith back.  She turned to him giving him a curious stare, "What's up?"

     Dawn watched from behind as Faith walked back toward him and Riley squirmed uncomfortably, "Don't take this the wrong way, cause I know you can tear me into shreds..."

     "But?"  Faith asked cautiously.

     He cleared his throat and smiled lightly, "You look good."  He slowly backed away, leaving Faith speechless – not to mention her heart skipped a beat – and soon he turned his back to her and headed out.

     Dawn slowly moved toward Faith smirking, "Now usually, this is the part where the girl swoons and squeals for joy as the muscle-clad hottie leaves from having given her a compliment."

     Faith glared at her, "Shut up Dawn.  It's not like that."

     "Sure it isn't Faith," Dawn replied lightly.

     Faith's brow furrowed as the two girls headed back home, absentmindedly glancing back in the direction Riley was headed, and then turned back at the road that lie ahead of her, _Oh yes, now this just doesn't complicate things_.


	10. Family

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Family_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes:** Buffy's dead.  That's about it.  Um, yeah, also, it's AU, but if you've read it this long you already know that, :)

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To anyone who reads this, thank you.

**Feedback:** That'd be great!  Thanks.

     She soared in the air, smiling to herself as she closed her eyes, twisting and turning through her flight, floating above the city of Sunnydale, California.  She'd almost forgotten how good flying felt; she opened her eyes and continued surveying the city.  _It's a nice town, despite all the horrors._

     There was a sudden crunch of metal and her face filled with resolve, "Time to go to work."

     She darted toward the direction in which the sound originated and stared at the people in a car, wrapped around a light pole.  She dashed toward the car, checking the inside.  "Is everyone ok in there?"  She took a closer look.  The driver and the passenger on the right of him were out cold, blood streamed down the side of their faces, and the two kids behind them were slowly moving.  She took a deep breath and sighed, thanking God for small favors.

     Suddenly her heart raced as a tiny fire sprung from the hood of the car, "Crap," she said to herself.  She ripped the door out in the backseat and helped the children out.  They held onto each other scared out of their mind, "Stay away as far as you can, I'm going back for your parents."

     They looked from a distance, "It's ok, Sasha, that's Supergirl; she can get them out."  Suddenly there was a loud explosion, and the two girls stared wide-eyed in fear as the fire rose up and they cried out, "Mommy!"

     They hadn't noticed Supergirl's dash upward right as the car exploded and when she landed behind them, both their parents in her arms, they ran up to them and hugged them for dear life as they both started coming to.

     "What's going on," asked the father as he looked around, giving Supergirl a curious stare.

     "You ran into a light pole.  What happened?" the blonde wonder squatted near him listening.

     "I…  We were driving down the road, coming back from L.A. when there was this guy in the middle of the road, smiling at us like…like…  I don't know, but I swerved to get out of the way, so I wouldn't hit him.  But something hit us."

     "Something," she asked.

     He nodded, "I…I couldn't see it very well, but it was big…"

     Supergirl nodded, "Stay quiet, the police should be here soon," and, as if on cue, the police – as well as the fire department – showed up with their sirens waling.  Supergirl rose up in the air and headed back home.  _Looks like its job for Giles, the Wonder Watcher._

*        *        *        *        *

     "What were you doing out in the first place?"

     Faith sighed, "Giles, that's not the point right now.  The point is, something big, something strong caused those people to get hurt out there!  And you just want to go, 'oh'."  She pursed her lips together and stared at him.  "You know better than that, it's worth looking into."

     "Faith, they could be del-deliriums of a…a...a...confused man.  He had a concussion, who knows what could've really happened!"

     "But we're not going to be sure unless we dig!"  She stared at the floor and shook her head, "Why are you fighting me on this?  I…I just got a feeling here Giles."

     "Faith, if every time we listened to our feelings…"

     "I'd be dead.  You'd be dead.  We'd all be dead."  She gave him a quick look; "Those feelings are what kept me from totally destructing on you guys."

     Giles shook his head, "I don't like you out without telling me, and you're still recuperating."

     She slammed her foot, "Giles, damn it, I'm the Slayer, I'm not some little automaton that you can just flip off and on like a fucking robot!  I'm not Kendra."

     _Ok, so that was a bit harsh._  She stared at him and looked away, "I'm not Buffy."  She grabbed her bag and her books, "I have to get to school or I'm going to be late."  She looked upstairs and shouted, "Dawn, I'll be outside, getting a head start!"

     Giles pinched the bridge of his nose, "Faith, please," but it was too late, the door slammed shut and she was out of the house.  He sulked on the couch, "I didn't mean that," he whispered to himself.

*        *        *        *        *

     The teacher droned on as Faith sighed lightly, looking blankly at the English book before her.  Who cared about Iago and Othello?  It wasn't as though it applied to real life.  She sighed deeper.  Who was she kidding?  She didn't get the play at all.  Worse yet, she couldn't even get through the play – Shakespeare was excessively complicated; why couldn't he write in English?

     _All those thys, thous, and henceforths, who needs that?_

     "Now, for your first assignment of the year.  This class is very essay heavy, especially on works such as these.  Now, for your first paper, I want you to write about Othello.  A characterization of Othello, of Iago, or of the themes that are presented in the play, or all of the above; I'm leaving it up to you.  Due Friday.  That gives you three days, that should be good enough."  Conveniently the bell rang, leaving Faith absolutely perturbed, _Paper?_

     Her face filled with dread and she was stunned until she heard a quiet, "Are you all right?"

     She turned to her right and nodded, "Yeah, I just…it's … wow, a paper?"

     He chuckled, "She's notorious for that kind of stuff."  Faith and her new companion walked out the door of the classroom, "I'm Mike by the way."  He held out his hand, and Faith smiled and took it, shaking, "I'm Faith.  New to all this."

     He smiled, "Well, it's ok.  Othello is a great play."

     She nodded slowly, "The best."

     He laughed, "You don't understand a word of it, do you?"

     Faith shook her head, "I got a little lost after…"

     He stared at her intently as she added dejectedly, "The first line."  She couldn't help but smile as he laughed aloud once more, "I'm glad you think my problem a funny factor."

     "I'm sorry, really, it's just…the look on your face."  Mike cleared his throat, "Try reading it again.  Maybe I can help you with your paper.  You can help me with mine."  He stared at her and quietly said, "Then maybe we both won't have to be the new kids around town."  She looked up at him, but he cleared his throat, "I had better get to class before I'm late," and then he was gone.

*        *        *        *        *

     It was nothing but a blob.

     A pink, spongy, nothing.

     It had a form, once…  A form that struck terror in the hearts of criminals.  However, that was a long time ago.  Since then, it's floated in the sewers, slugging about looking for something of sustenance, something to give it form once again…to make it whole…  And when that happened, it would grab the blond, muscle clad being who grabbed it and flushed it like waste and absorb its energy, eat its flesh and…  _I will be whole…_ it thought.

     It was Matrix.

     It would be whole.

     _Just give me time…._

*        *        *        *        *

     "Faith, you ok?"

     Faith turned to Dawn, "Oh, yeah, totally."  She sighed, "Ok, not really.  I have a paper due Friday, and ask me if I know how to write a paper?"

     Dawn gave her a soft smile, "You'll figure it out, but I too have homework of my own, so I think I'm going to head off home and take care of that.  You going to come too?"

     Faith opened her mouth, but spied Willow click-clacking at the computer in the Magic Box, "Yeah, but I have some stuff to talk to Giles about, I'll be out in a few, k?"

     Dawn nodded, "All right.  Don't take too long."

     Once Dawn was clearly outside, and no one else was in the room, Faith slowly headed toward Willow.  _I need help, and the only other person who I know smart enough to help me, at least remotely, is the one person who detests me_.  She cleared her throat, "Willow?"

     Willow tensed and stood up, looking around to find that they were alone and an uneasy expression filled her face so Faith stayed back, clearly not wanting to make Willow uncomfortable, but obviously failing.

     "What's up?"  Willow asked as she fiddled with the fringes of fabric on her sweater.

     Faith cleared her throat, "Listen, you took Advanced English, did the whole English paper thing, and I know how much you don't like being in the same room with me, and trust me I wouldn't ask this if I really didn't need your help, but I really do…"

     Faith took a deep breath, "I need to learn how to write one of these things and fast."  She looked to floor, "And I know you're the smart one around here, so I figured I'd just ask."  She shifted uncomfortably, "I won't be any trouble and it'll be quick.  And I'm not asking you to actually do the paper for me, really, I'm going to do it on my own, I just need help."  She looked up at Willow, "I really need your help," she asked sincerely.

     Willow stared at Faith with an expectant stare; _Well at least she didn't kill me_.  However, as Faith spewed out her case, and shifted around with discomfort, she realized, for the first time, that Faith was uncomfortable around her.  _At least the feelings mutual_.

     Willow sighed as Faith stared at her with uncertain eyes, and against her better judgment she replied, "Fine.  Bring your notes and the book.  We'll go over it when you come back from patrol."

     Faith smiled, "Thanks Willow."

     Willow nodded lightly and turned her back on Faith paying closer attention to the computer.  Nevertheless, that didn't matter, Faith was of the good now, she had someone who knew what they were doing and she would be ok.  At least for now.

     She grabbed her bag and headed back out on the street toward Buffy's home.  It still felt odd sleeping there and using that address as her home.  Giles had managed to get the lease to the home and now owned it – _Another wonderful deed of the Watcher's Council?_  – however, she wasn't sure anymore whether or not the situation with Dawn was getting any better, or whether Giles was fighting a losing battle.

     Dusk had finally settled, bringing an end to the sunny day, and letting the darkness fall onto the town of Sunnydale, along with all its evils.  So here she was, on patrol, strolling through Sunnydale Park.

     It was an unusually slow night, not one single vamp to dust in the entire area.  If the vampires around town were ready to just hide in their crypts, something definitely was up, only she didn't know what, though that didn't mean she wasn't eager to hear what had all the vampires spooked.

     "Don't move!" she heard called and she spun around.

     She crept closer as she watched a police officer hold his gun at the perpetrator, trying to contain him, as a woman lay sprawled on the floor, dead, with two itty-bitty wholes in her neck.  Faith frowned, _Of course, so much for the slow night_.  However, there was no way she could storm in there and dust the vampire with that cop trying to be noble.  Soon a window of opportunity opened up for Faith as the cop's gun shot and clicked with an empty barrel.

     The vampire grinned as he contorted his face, growling angrily and pounced after him, but Faith took to action leaping into the air and ramming into the vampire landing on the ground with a solid thud.

     She hopped back up as the vampire rolled over and hissed, "Slayer, you're back."

     "Better than ever."  She slammed her foot into his face and he managed to get on his feet.  She gave him a quick roundhouse, and he countered by blocking her kick, and slamming his fist into her face.  She gripped her stake, but the police officer from before grabbed the vampire trying to play the hero and protect the "damsel in distress", but the vampire threw him off easily.

     Faith slammed her foot into his midsection and he toppled back.  She gripped her stake even harder as she staked him while he was on his back recovering – he never even knew what hit him; he stared at her with horrified eyes as he crumbled into dust.  That part never felt any less than unnerving, it was downright creepy.

     The officer came by her side as he exclaimed, "What the hell was that," his eyes were wide, "I've never…"

     Faith turned to him, "There's a lot about this town you need to…."

     She stopped in mid sentence as she stared at him, her eyes softened, and her brow furrowed, causing her to step back.

     "What's wrong you look like you've seen a ghost," he asked lightly.

     Faith stared at his nameplate, "Officer Danvers," it said, her breath became short as she started to hyperventilate, and she took another step back as she uncertainly whispered, "Daddy?"

     Officer Fred Danvers' eyes widened as he stared at Faith, his eyes squinting, suddenly hard realization hit him and he inched closer, "Faith, baby, is it really you?"

     She stepped back as he inched closer, and when he spoke she couldn't handle it – she freaked, and she ran back to Buffy's house, back to where everything made more sense than it did right now.  As she ran, all she could hear was her father screaming her name, and pleading with her to stop and turn around and to just stop running.

     She didn't stop until she came to the front door of the Summers' residence.

*        *        *        *        *

     She breathed in.  She rocked back and forth, as she held her knees to her chest, and just rocked.  The door to the room she was staying in was locked, and she sat on the bed thinking back.

     Back to when she was nine years old.

     Back when Daddy hadn't left home.

     It was a normal day, Daddy had walked her to school and she was smiling the whole day.  She wore her favorite pink dress, her dad stood tall, his dark hair short with the same raven colored tint to it as hers, and she smiled as he picked her up and spun her around.  "Ok princess, we're here."

     She looked at the school and huffed lightly, "Do I have to?"

     Fred chuckled, "Of course you have to."  He kneeled down and kissed her again, and hugged her, holding on for dear life – as if it were the last time.  Faith couldn't process that, why wouldn't he be here anymore?  "I'll see you when I get home?"

     He nodded lightly, his eyes torn, and his face soft, "I'll be there."  She noticed the dimness and he quietly whispered, "You know I love you, right?"

     Faith smiled, "Always."

     Fred chuckled and nodded, "Right, always."  She turned back and headed up the steps to her school, and waved to her father.

     It was, indeed, the last time she saw him.

     Until tonight.

     She clenched her eyes shut and she forced herself to realize that her father was in Sunnydale, the hellmouth, and he would probably be in danger.  Though after seeing what happened tonight, he'd probably be more careful about what he did.

     She sighed, "Damn it, why now?  Why couldn't you just have stayed dead?"  She sulked; she knew she didn't mean a word of it, she was glad he was alive, she loved that he was so close…  But where had he been all this time?  Why didn't he try to talk to her, get a hold of her, _find_ her?

     There was a knock on the door and Faith sighed rubbing her eyes and face.  She cleared her throat, composing herself, and stood up and answered it.  Willow stood there and uncomfortably asked, "You ready?"

     Faith nodded, "Downstairs?"

     Willow's face became relaxed and nodded, "Ok."

     _Oh great, this is going to be…interesting…_

*        *        *        *        *

     She rushed through the hallways pushing against everyone, _I'm late, shit, I'm late._

     She managed to get in class right when the bell rang and she thanked God for Slayer Speed.  She rushed into her seat as her English teacher gave her a wicked scowl and Faith offered a meek grin.  She heard a snicker to her left and smiled as she saw Mike, "Hey, another thing you find funny?"

     Mike nodded lightly as he turned back to watch the teacher take attendance and he brought back his attention to Faith, "Have you thought about my offer?  About the whole paper thing?"

     Faith waited for a bit before she nodded lightly, "Yeah, though someone else has been helping me a bit."

     "Oh," he said quietly.

     She smirked, "But she's a bit uncomfortable around me, we only went over basics."  Quietly she said to herself, not even noticing she was saying it aloud, "She hates me, it's weird that she took the time to help me sort through this stuff."

     "So, I take it you've figured out your paper topic?"

     Faith grinned, "Yeah, my…friend…told me that the relationship between Iago and Othello would be perfect for me, I'm not sure why."

     His eyes lit up a bit, "How weird, I'm so doing that too!"

     Faith stared at him uneasily, "You're not like…stalking me…are you?"

     He stared at her for a moment before she smirked at him, "Kidding."

     Mike rolled his eyes and started to laugh or at least until the teacher cleared her voice and the class stared at them intently.  The boy next to Faith reddened and whispered, "Why don't we start work on it after school?  We'll be helping each other out and we'll give this friend, that hates you, a break from…you."

     Faith nodded, _Why not, it's not as if I have anything left to lose?_  Faith smiled, "You, sir, got yourself a study-buddy.  We meet at the front of the school?"

     He nodded, "Great."

*        *        *        *        *

     Dawn sat at the lunch table chatting away about her third period class and how lame her teacher was and how did he expect her to learn when he was wearing this humungoid flashy vest that screamed "Fashion Victim"?  Faith was in a daze as Dawn, as well as Dawn's friends Chloe and Janice started chatting.  Dawn turned to Faith and her brow furrowed, "What's up Faith?"

     Should she tell her the truth?  Did she really want to go over the fact that she was stunned her father was in Sunnydale?  She sulked, and that she ran away from him like a little kid running away from a stranger?  Faith stood up, "No, I'm Fine D, but I won't be walking home with you after school, I have some studying stuff to do at a friend's house."

     She grinned to herself, _Friend.  Who would've thought?_

     Dawn smirked, "Oh really, anything Riley should be jealous about?"  For a moment a tinge of anger spread through Dawn, but she suppressed it – besides, Riley only had a crush…right?

     Faith rolled her eyes, "For the last time, Friend.  And nothing Riley…not that he would be…jealous of."  However, a part of her really wished, he would be.  _Stop that_, she thought.

     The day whizzed by and Faith now stood outside the main doors of Sunnydale High, "Ready?"

     She spun around and nodded, "More than ever, so where are we going?"

     "Well, my house is down the block so we can go there."

     Faith nodded, "Lead the way."

     The two started down the street before she stopped in her tracks, "What's wrong Faith," she heard Mike ask.  She took a step back as she stared at the officer who parked across the street from Sunnydale High, and her throat was caught.  He turned to her to give her a concerned look, "Are you in some kind of trouble, Faith?"

     "Huh?"  She stared at him before she shook her head, "Oh, no not that kind of trouble."  She took a deep breath, "That's my dad."

     "…color me clueless, but so?"

     "We haven't seen each other for like ten years."

     "Oh." He said simply, "Well, you guys should talk.  It looks like he wants to talk to you.  We can discuss this later, or you can call me."  He grabbed a pen and wrote his number on her palm, and headed off.  "Call me later."

     _Wait, no!  Don't go!_  Her mind shouted against his leaving, and the feeling of utter fear spread through her as she watched her father approach her.  A part of her wanted to grab him, shake him, slam him into the wall and beat him to a bloody pulp for leaving.  Another part of her wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hug him, kiss him, hold him, and trust him.

     But she was the Slayer, so suspicion was everywhere.

     "Faith," he said lightly as the two stood shifted around uncomfortably with quiet eyes staring at them.  "Let's go somewhere and talk."  Faith gave him a pensive and unsure look.  He held his hands up lightly, "Please, I just…I want to talk to you.  If you decide what I have to say is meaningless, then by all means, you can go on ahead and be out of my life, but…"

     Faith looked away.  "Fine."  He smiled lightly as he signaled her to follow him and the two walked down the sidewalk toward the park.  Silence remained between them as they reached a park bench.  "Faith, I know you thought that…"

     Faith growled, "What?  That my father left us?  That he could've been dead for all I knew, that he didn't love us enough to stay with us, that God was punishing me and my mom cause we were bad and that's why you left."  Quietly she looked away, "You decided we weren't what you wanted, so you left for something new."  Bitterly she added, "And younger."

     _God, so much anger and I…  I don't remember half this stuff.  I guess I really am more Faith then I thought._

     Fred sighed, "It wasn't any of those things.  I didn't leave because I wanted to, or because I was punishing you guys, or because…because I 'found something new'."  He shook his head, "How's your mom?"

     "Dead," Faith said flatly.

     Fred straightened and stared at her in disbelief, "What?"

     "You know, after you left it was just a downward spiral for everyone.  Things fell apart.  Especially mom.  Last I heard it was an O.D."  She shrugged, "But I wasn't there when she did keel over."  It sounded so cold, so dark, even to her.  She turned to her father, "When you left, everything changed…Dad…_everything_.  Mom didn't care about anything," she looked away, "or anyone."

     Faith sighed as he put his head between his hands and shook his head, "That's why I left."

     Faith's eyes softened for a moment, "What?"

     "Your mom."  He sighed, "When we were younger, we use to go to bars.  We closed many-a-shops on our own, Sylvia and I.  When we got married, I grew up and stopped going.  Sylvia didn't."  He sighed, "I left her then."  Faith straightened, and still listened.  "Sylvia found me about a week or so after I left, and she told me…"

     He was lost in memories, but he was smiling misting around the eyes, "That's when she told me about you."  He gave her such a loving gaze that her heart opened up, and she wasn't sure how to deal with this new feeling – hate, anger, hate; she could deal with that…but she'd gotten so much understanding, love, and…love that it was overwhelming.  "She told me that it was over, that she'd stop."  He kept looking at her, "For you."  Fred sighed, "It was hard, but she did it."  His brows furrowed, "I don't know what happened, but it had started up again about the time I left.

     "I knew how destructive it was, the alcohol.  I tried to get her to stop, and she wouldn't.  She pushed me away, and I left."  His voice cracked, "I wanted to take you with me, I fought so hard…"

     He looked away, "But she wouldn't have it."  He sneered, "She knew how to work the system, and I couldn't take you."

     Faith was speechless; she just sat there staring at her Father.  "See, honey, when I moved around I kept trying to contact you, see how you were, but when I'd call, nothing.  When I'd send letters, nothing."

     Faith shook her head, "But she…she waited by the door, she…she cried so hard…"

     Her eyes brimmed with tears – _this is new_ – and she felt utterly alone, and her world reeled once more, everything she ever knew about her past was a lie.  She wondered_, What else was a lie?_

     It was suddenly very cold.

     She felt small, at least until she felt her father's embrace and let go.  She cried.  Cried for everything she felt remorse for, everything she'd ever done in her life that was anything but good, and purged through the pain, the reluctance, and let the tears continue to finally flow.

     After a few moments she pulled away and she heard her father sigh, "About last night…"

     Faith shuddered.

     "What…happened… exactly?"

     "Those were vampires," she stated matter-of-factly, and stared up at him, "they're real."

     He shook his head unsure of everything, "God…"  His head darted up, "Why were you out there?  Fighting them?"

     Faith's shoulders sunk, "I'm the Slayer."

     Fred gave her a blank stare with a slow nod.  In response, she smiled lightly, holding her arms out flexing her biceps, "Superstrenth, speed," she brought her arms down, "I'm a superhero."  _And that's not even the half of it – I'm also Supergirl_.

     "Why?" he asked lightly.

     Faith shrugged standing up, "Fate.  Destiny.  A cosmic joke, take your pick."

     "Can't you like…get out of it?  Find someone new to take over?"

     Faith chuckled lightly, "No.  The only way for a new Slayer is if I die.  I'm the only one."

     "I…"

     "Dad, I've done a lot of…bad things, **_bad_** things…."

     Fred shook his head, stopping her, holding her by her shoulders, "That doesn't matter, it's a fresh start.  If you want it."

     She looked up at him and shook her head, "I…don't know.  It's a bit much, I mean you see your father after ten years and you just expect to welcome him back with open arms?"

     Fred nodded, "Ok, I get your point…."

     Faith took a deep breath, "I'm staying at an…old friend's place.  If you want to talk, maybe I'll talk to you…"

     Their conversation stopped abruptly with an explosion.  Faith stood up, and her Father lay limp on the ground, "Dad!"  She heard loud chuckling from behind her and she spun around, "What's going on!"

     Buzz drifted over the ground above her and she stepped back, tripping over her father, "Oh God, sorry…" she said to her Father lying there his breathing short.  "I have to get him out of here..."

     "I think not Faith, luv."

     Faith stood up glaring at him, "Buzz."

     He smiled, "So you do remember.  And I thought there was going to be a problem with that.  Now this chap," he signaled behind him, a rather large demon that even made Faith wince about the impending battle between them, "is what you should be worrying about."  She looked around, the demon launched for her setting the ground around her ablaze, and she shouted, "Get out of here, Buzz.  I mean it…"

     "Or what?  You'll sport the blondeness and the big yellow 'S'?  Angel love, please."  Faith growled, her body morphing into her blonde visage and she flew above ground, dousing the flames with her telekinetic blasts.  The large demon shot straight for her.  She grabbed it by its arms and flung it out of the way and into the tree.

     The flames Supergirl hadn't managed to put out, suddenly stopped and Supergirl drifted back onto the ground cautiously as she heard the demon from before speak up, "Buzz, she'll do."  Supergirl stared at him as he extended his hand, flames surrounded her, burning the clothes off her, leaving her Supergirl Costume the only thing salvaged.  She tried to fly out of its range, but found she couldn't.  A bubble surrounded her and she couldn't move.

     The last she heard was a pop, when she awoke she was surrounded in darkness, clanking metal, and cheering.  She opened her eyes and looked around – she was in hell.

     _Oh great…_

A demon grabbed her hard, zapping her with a stick and she shuddered with pain, "What in the…"

     "Get into the pit, filth.  Welcome to The Games where the only way out...is death.  The games'll be starting soon."  The demon smiled exposing its seven layers of sharp pointy teeth.  Suddenly blackness enveloped her and the last thing she felt was a kick to the ribcage, and the thundering deep laughter of a being off in the distance that sounded like Buzz.


	11. Falling Into Reality

**Title of Series:** Soul Searching 

**Name:** _Falling Into Reality_

**Author: FaItHzAnGeL a.k.a. Fernando Rangel**

**Email:** fivexangel@aol.com

**Pairings:** None as of yet….

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  All belongs to either Joss Whedon, UPN, all the crew who makes Buffy possible, and Peter David, and DC Comics for Supergirl.

**Author's Notes:** Buffy's dead.  That's about it.  Um, yeah, also, it's AU, but if you've read it this long, you already know that, :)  Also, the lyrics that appear later in this part is from Natalie Imbruglia's song 'Satellite.'

**Summary:** When heroes collide, the unlikeliest things happen.  For Faith and Supergirl, they'll learn that lesson the hard way…

**Category:** Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance, Horror, Drama

**Spoilers:** Season One through Five of Buffy the Vampire up to and including "The Gift".  Barring Five by Five and Sanctuary of Angel, that's where it goes AU.  This also contains spoilers from Supergirl of DC Comics.  Pretty much issues one through fifty right now.

**Rating:** PG, for violence

**Dedication:** To Mandy who came up with the _awesomest_ title for this 'chapter'!  :)  And also to Sadie, whom I might've not been so _evil_ to my characters, and will continue to be in the future, if she hadn't written _Furious Angels_, and given me such a blush-worthy review from her beta of part 10, thank you!  The torture is just for you sweets.  :)

**Feedback:** That'd be great!  Thanks.

_Falling Into Reality_

     Suddenly bright white light surrounded her spreading across her spectrum of vision.

Faith sat on the bed, looking around, "Where's Buffy?"

She sat calmly in Buffy's room, staring at the pictures, "She should be here."  She frowned, standing up and smoothed the sheets looking into the mirror, only instead of seeing the reflection of her raven-haired self, she saw the reflection of her alter-ego, that of the Maid of Might.

     "She's not coming back, is she?"  Faith asked the mirror.  The blonde shrugged, "It's hard to tell these days, everyone keeps coming back..."

Faith nodded, "But she's still gone."

"It's what we're hoping...isn't it?"

**_–Slosh...slosh...slosh...–_**

"What the hell," Faith shouted as she spun around, but nothing stood behind her.

"You do know that it's coming for you...right?"  The blonde smirked in the mirror standing back as Faith shook her head, "That part is gone, long gone.  Down the porcelain tube hole if you catch my drift."

Faith turned back around facing the blonde who towered over her smirking, definitely _not_ in the mirror, but in the world of three-dimensions.  Looking at the bed she sighed, "Things are going to get a lot worse, aren't they?  I've made my bed, and we have to lie in it.  Shades of the past and all."

Supergirl nodded, "But my shards of darkness will fall before you soon enough."

"I can handle her."

"You think you can."

"I know we can."

"We are nothing."  Faith stood back as the Supergirl before mutated into a purple being, plasmic, spongy, disgustingly ugly, "W-what's going on?!"

"I must feed...  I am..._Matrix_..."

Faith jumped back as the once-Supergirl fell to the ground in a loud flop and burst into nothingness, Matrix's body turning into fluid, a sharp knife-like part of it rushed toward the Slayer and stabbed her in the chest and she gasped for dear life.

Her eyes fluttered open as she shuddered in fear feeling grimy, dirty, sweaty, hot, and hopeless...  _Where am I?_  The clanging of metal, the cheering of demons laughing manically, the shouting and shrieking of the damned and those in pain filled her ears and she took a deep breath, _Oh yeah_.

"I see our hero has now awoken from her slumber," said a raggedly crude English voice.  Buzz circled around Faith's cage and leered, "I do love seeing you all trapped in a box, it brings a song to my heart."  He smirked, "Ok, so tell me, what do you really think of this place?"  He stood up tall and straight, "Doesn't it all look like so much fun, all the pain, the suffering, the smoldering nothingness that is everything.  It's quite a lovely vacation spot."  He kneeled down, "There was a time when you would've loved to see this Faith; it was everything you'd work your life for..."

"You're crazy."

"Quite possibly.  Or scarily sane, and I'm the one who's in reality, Faith darling."  He shook his head, "But of course, because I am the bad guy I _have_ to be wrong, God forbid that day that I, Buzz – _demon_ – Aldrin, am right!"  He sighed, "That's the problem with you hero-types, you think just because you're the good guy that you'll always prevail, this little one-sided view."  He gave Faith a disappointed look, "I figure you would be different Faith, after all you have toed the lines of the dark side."

Faith growled, "What do you mean toed!"

Buzz grinned, "Luv, just because you killed a few people and ruined a few lives doesn't make you evil incarnate, nor does it make you at all, in any sense of the word, dark.  It just means you're human."  Faith gave him a glare and he chuckled, "Darling, it's human nature!  You did it because it _felt_ good, because you wanted to _rid_ yourself of the _pain _you _felt_."  He rolled his eyes, "I do it because it's my nature, it's entirely fun."  He frowned, "Granted you're the Slayer, and violence is in it, but you wouldn't kill a human as a hero – look at Buffy, but what I am saying is it's psychologically logical that you did kill someone."  He yawned, "So stop killing yourself over crimes past."  He kneeled down staring at her blue eyes, "And you, Supergirl, you lovely angel, just because you and my Faith merged, doesn't mean you're going to redeem her soul, it is tainted you know.  I hope you do enjoy a damned soul because even if it is human nature...it's still a mortal sin, and you will be here..."

Buzz held his arms wide open, "Do you feel at home, luv?"

Faith sat there cold and alone, despite the smoldering heat staring blankly at Buzz.

Buzz smiled, "Good, she's broke."  He stood up and walked away singing a devilish tune, "It ain't no lie, baby bye, bye, bye..." and grinned the whole way to the games, watching the carnage with his brethren with an evil grin.

*        *        *        *        *

Willow sat in her chair at the table in the Magic Box researching what Faith's possible demon from the other night upon Giles' request, and looked up from the books and smiled at Tara, her girlfriend.  The Magic Box was empty now, and everything was still but the little radio that blared in the store.

Tara looked up and gave Willow a sheepish grin and continued to research until a song came on the radio and Willow couldn't help but let her grin grow larger.  She took a quick look around and stood up, "You know what?"

"What's that sweetie," Tara replied softly as she watched Willow rise from the chair toward the radio turning the volume up.  The redheaded woman turned around and smirked, "I'm a bit bored."  The music's rhythmic beat blared and Willow swayed her hips to the song coming toward Tara, "I could think of things I'd much rather be doing..."

_Do you lie awake in the morning?_

_Trying to find a reason to call me_

_Cause honey all that I've been doing _

_Is thinking about your smile..._

_But none of it is necessary_

_With me baby_

_You see baby_

_Cause I like to keep it all simple..._

Willow incorporated her shoulders into the groove causing Tara to grin madly and giggle at Willow's erratic behavior, "Nice," she replied coolly as she watched Willow come near her, turning a bit and waving her hips from side to side and letting her hands run down her side....

_Cause you are my Satellite_

_(burning up, burning up, satellite)_

_So, I'm trying to keep you in sight_

_(so, you might wanna just sit tight)_

_But with all this space_

_Can we keep it alive?_

_(keep it alive)_

_So, I'm asking you baby_

_Are you coming down tonight?_

Tara couldn't handle it anymore and started laughing aloud hard, standing up to Willow as she danced her heart off and held Tara quickly dancing around her.  "You have to admit, this a whole lot more fun than the books."  Tara nodded lightly just watching the love of her life dance.  And not just for anyone, for _her_, and _only_ her.

There's something in the air tonight 

_That feels right_

_But you're keeping me guessing_

_and I'm finding it hard to catch your eye_

_So, move a little closer_

_It's alright_

_I know what you're thinking_

_You've been circling me for a while_

Tara moved closer into Willow as she opened her arms and snuggled into her lover's embrace, taking in all of her, loving the smell of her hair, the beauty of her face, the grace of her dance, the beautiful brown eyes that stared into her, and that's when she knew...

_Cause you are my Satellite_

_(burning up, burning up, satellite)_

_So, I'm trying to keep you in sight_

_(so, you might wanna just sit tight)_

_But with all this space_

_Can we keep it alive?_

_(keep it alive)_

_So, I'm asking you baby_

_Are you coming down tonight?_

Willow smiled and lightly pressed her lips against Tara's and grinned as she pulled away, "I love you."

Tara glowed and nodded, "Ditto."  The two held onto each other giggling at their odd, yet sweet, moment...  At least until the explosion from down the street sounded through the air and into the Magic Box.

"What in the..."  Willow's brow furrowed and headed out the door with Tara following in suit.  She and Tara ran all the way to the park where they found the ground stained in a black circle, and the shape of a body on the ground...and a nameplate left that read, "Officer Danvers."

Willow gasped, _No way..._

Tara looked around, "This is giving off very b-bad, e-energy."

Willow agreed, "Let's get to the Magic Box and call Giles, maybe he can help us figure this out."

Tara turned back and headed toward Anya's store with Willow following close behind yet slowly looking back, staring at the circle.  The fried clothes on the ground... _ I know those are Faith's clothes._

Willow had a bad feeling about this.

*        *        *        *        *

"You fight or you die, the rules are that simple."  The seven-layer-teethed demon smiled, "The Games begin anew within the hour, you have that long to get ready."

The demon was gone and time strung alone like nothingness, everything happened so fast ad yet Faith was still in a daze.  A man waved her hand in front of Faith and received no response, "I don't think this one is going to make it..."

A bigger man shrugged, "It's not like they ever do.  Not sure why they chose this one, she doesn't look like much of a fighter."  The woman from behind nodded lightly; "People surprise you ever now and then."

Burt shrugged, "Whatever."

Bertha sighed, "I think you're wrong, I think she'll go the distance."  There was something about this one that she _knew_ was different, she wasn't like the rest of the riffraff around here.  She quietly whispered, "This isn't hell, this is Chaos."  Bertha shrugged, "I know you ain't listenin', but that's just fine, at least someone will let me speak my mind without interrupting me and pushin' it off like it was nothin'."  She grabbed a knife and started to sharpen it in preparation for later, "Milton had it right; there's a place between Earth and Hell."  She shook her head, "Every demon from that hell has to go through it, unless there's a hole, like the hellmouth."

She sighed, "Chaos looks bad, but this is a picnic compared to the place down below.  The ruler here is named Chaos also; he set up The Games.  Demons travel here for a show, mostly.  Many of them are fine with being where they are.  It's the power hungry ones that want to get out...back into the world of man."

She sighed, "If you know what's best for you girl, you'll snap out of it, and you'll fight because you look like a survivor."  Bertha looked at her, "Maybe you'll be the one to get out," she whispered softly.

"All right maggots, its time!"

He looked around the group and he grabbed Bertha and Faith fiercely, holding on roughly shoving them out of the containing cells for the fighters and thrust them into the corridor toward the battleground.

"You get one weapon."

Faith stared numbly at the weapons and looked away.  Bertha sighed and held up her knife, "Got my trusty blade, don't need nothing better than that."

The demon humphed and he gave Bertha the once over, and walked away, "Stupid human."

Bertha shook her head, "Damn demons."  She turned to Faith who looked straight at the gate, "I tell ya, if I ever had enough power to take on that demon, I'd kill him, gut him for sure."  She swung her arm around at the masses of demons, "The whole lot of 'em."

The gate swung open, the two women headed out on toward the ground, and they stood in the middle of everything.  Bertha readied herself, crouching in a battle position, as Faith stood straight, tall, and numb.  _She'll never last two minutes in here._

There was a roar of a demon and suddenly five demons came out from the five sides of the arena, and headed straight for them.  Bertha growled launching herself at the first demon that came at her, slashing left and right, ducking the punches as best she could, and slamming her knife into his chest.

But she was only human.

And slow.

Soon she was overpowered, and Faith watched as she backed away in fear.  The demons stepped away from Faith thinking her nothing but an easy kill; she wouldn't pick a fight.  They crowded the woman and she suddenly shrieked with fear, "I'll kill all of you!  Let me be, back off!"

"Stop," Faith muttered lightly.

One of the demons grabbed Bertha and dug his talons in her and she cried out in agony, "I said stop!"  Faith shouted as she launched herself at the demons throwing them left and right and pulling them away from Bertha who fell to her knees, "Oh damn, and just when I thought I had 'em all figured out."  She looked up at Faith and chuckled, "For a fucking mute, you're a pretty good at giving orders."

Faith grabbed her knife, "Stay down."  The demons growled and chased after Faith, "I don't think so."  Faith sneered slamming her fist into the demon to the left, ducking a swipe of the sword from the demon behind her.

She tripped the remaining two demons flinging a dagger into the largest of the demon.  There were three demons left, and two dead, and she hadn't even broken a sweat.  The crowd went wild.  The three survivors growled at her, "Who are you?"

Faith grinned, "I'm the Slayer, and trust me when I say, you're in for _a lot_ of pain."

*        *        *        *        *

Xander and Anya swept through their home and he smirked, "You know, I think I might just like this whole getting married thing."  Anya rolled her yes, "Well, you'd better, seeing as how you're the one who brought this whole wedding thing to play."

Xander shook his head, "Please, sorry for proposing to the ex-thousand-year-old-demon love of my life."

Anya swooned at that sentence and she was all grins, this feeling she felt inside, the pure rapture of being with Alexander Harris was something that money couldn't fix, that the sight of the green leafy substance could not calm – she was in love.  With a man.  A man whom she probably would've dealt out vengeance to without a second thought.

She took hold of Xander and kissed him, hard, and held him tightly, "I love you."

Xander smiled, "I love you too."

"So, when can we tell the others?"  She pulled away and bounced off into the kitchen, "I think it's time, what with everything being well with the world."

"Except for the part about Buffy..."

She slowed, "That should go without saying."

"You're wrong," he was visibly hurt now, the pain-stricken face was just too much to bear, and for a solid second she was jealous of the hold Buffy had on Xander.  She sighed sitting next to him, "Xander, I loved Buffy too.  She was wonderful.  A sweet, sweet girl."  She bit her lip, because she knew the next part would be harsh, "But she's dead.  Gone.  And she's _not_ coming back."  Xander looked up to her, and his eyes welled again.  In the entire five months that she'd gone, that thought always brought Xander's heart lower than Anya could ever know, lower then anything she'd ever seen.

"You don't think I know that?"  Xander replied bitingly, "I do, I know it more than you'll ever understand, and it hurts Anya.  It hurts that she's gone.  That she didn't beat the odds.  That...that..."

He took a deep breath that turned into a sob, "That she was right.  That the fates were right, she was going to die."  He crumbled into a little nothing, a little ball on the floor and laid his head in Anya's lap, "I never thought it would happen, I thought we defied whatever prophecy there was, that we'd be together always, fighting side by side, never losing her..."

His eyes teared and the drops fell, streaming his face, seeping into Anya's dress, "I was so stupid."

Anya took a deep breath, "You're wrong Xander, and I'm hurt that you think I'd never understand about loss, about hurt, about pain!  I dished it out for a hundred years, and that moment...that one moment when I saw the roof caving in on you, the thought of losing you was, and is, too much to bear, and that's when I pushed you out of the way."

She made Xander sit up, "I know exactly what Buffy was thinking, I know exactly what you're feeling, what she felt."  She looked into Xander's eyes, cupping his face with her hands, "You, Dawn, Giles, everyone, the _world_, was what she loved, and she _knew_ what she had to do!  She had to _save_ you, just like _I_ saved _you_.  It wasn't about fate, or about prophecies, or anything else.  It was about love, about doing what was right."  Anya's eyes struck through the core of his soul and he held her close and he started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?  That's highly inappropriate."

Xander shook his head, and wiped his eyes, "I'm laughing because here I am, king of wit and banter, of finding the humor in everything..." he sighed, "And I'm on the floor crying my eyes out."  He looked away, "Could I be any less manlier?"

Anya smirked and kissed him lightly and was about to answer when the phone rang.  Xander reached over to the coffee table, where the cordless lay, next to him, "Hello?"

"Xander, it's me Willow, I need you and Anya to get to the Magic Box, quick."

"Sure will, something happen?  Faith go evil...again?"

Willow sighed, "No, I wish it were that simple, but it looks like we're missing another Slayer, Faith's gone M.I.A., and I don't think she's skipped town."

"We'll be down in five, Will."  Anya had already gone into the bedroom to change.

*        *        *        *        *

"That was so amazing," Bertha gasped as Faith held her up as she took her inside the holding cage, back to where it started, "I've never seen anyone take them out so fast...and you haven't even broken a sweat."

"Are you ok?"

"I mean, man you wailed on those guys!  You took theirs heads clean off their shoulders, used their weapons against them, and…you were a vision!  A warring angel!"

Faith grunted as she lifted Bertha up so that she stood more erect, "I'm hardly an angel, Bertha."

"Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that.  I saw the rage, I saw the willingness to help others...you're an Angel trapped in hell."

Faith shook her head, "It's called common decency.  Wasn't going to have you die on my account."  Faith looked around, sizing up her options, finally clear of whatever devastating blow Buzz had given her, she was Faith again.  And she had vengeance in her heart, or no, first it would be to find a way to get home...then it would be tearing Buzz apart limb from limb.

"There's no way out except through the way you came in."  Faith nodded slowly, "Don't worry Faith darling, you're gonna live a long time here, seeing as how there ain't no way out."

"If there's a way in, there's a way out, otherwise how would they be getting new recruits?"

Bertha nodded, pondering the notion for a minute longer before she quietly said, "Are you going to get us out?"

"I'm going to try."

Bertha nodded, "That's enough."

Faith stood tall as the other 'Gladiators' stared at her in awe.  The seven-layer-teethed demon came to her and growled, "You charged up the audience, good job.  We'll see how long you last," he spat at her and wiped his mouth pushing people who got in his way to the ground.

"Well Faith, it's good to see you're back to your survival instincts."  Buzz pouted, "I really hoped that you'd stay broke for a little while longer, it would've been fun to see the old bird here die," she pointed to Bertha who glared at him with fire in her eyes.

Buzz smiled, "You want to get out...don't you?"

She sneered, "What gave it away?"

Buzz chuckled, "You want them out as well."

Faith raised an eyebrow, "What are you getting at Buzz?"

"I'll give you a chance to win your freedom, and theirs."

"What do I have to do?" she watched him carefully.

"Fight.  Win.  Do what you're best at."

"But who?"  Faith asked skeptically.

"That is for me to decide.  Do we have a deal?  Cause darling, the only way out of Chaos is...well, let's just say it has to do with virgins, and baby sacrifices, nothing you could stomach."  He stood up straight and walked away whistling, "But I can."

Bertha looked at Faith, "What's going on?"

Faith sighed, "I don't know."

Bertha looked her up and down, "Hey, what's with the costume by the way?"

*        *        *        *        *

Xander looked up at the table and frowned, "So basically we're researching a demon who…steals people?"

"In a fiery way," Tara offered lightly.

Xander grumbled, "Oh.  Well, that makes all the difference.  It narrows our field of a billion to about…oh, a billion?"  Giles gave Xander a stare down and the Zeppo sighed, quietly retreating back into the book before him.

There was a ring from the door and Anya jumped, she looked back, "What?  Customers!  Customers equal money, money equals pretty things for me."  She turned to Giles and smiled sweetly, "Us."

The group looked away and Anya trotted off, only to frown, "Oh.  It's only you."  She threw her hands in the air, "Where are all the customers?  It's been too slow."

Willow jumped at the site before her, "Riley?"

Everyone stood up and he gave them all a wave, "Hey."  He stared at the books tossed around and he nodded, "Apocalypse?"

The group looked at each other and Giles cleared his throat, "Um, no, it's Faith.  She's gone missing."

"Faith?"

Giles nodded, "Yes, Willow says she found Faith's tattered clothes at the park, shredded burned.  Over by the park."

"I heard about that."

Xander stood next to Anya holding her and he quietly said, "What brings you here?"

"I…came to visit, check on you guys, Dawn…"

"Faith," Dawn said lightly.

Riley opened his mouth to speak, but Willow jumped, "Oh!"  She looked a the others, grabbed Tara, and shouted, "We'll be back, keep looking, I think I might have a plan…"

Riley's eyebrows lifted as he watched them leave, and he turned back to the others, "Did I miss something?"

"I think we all did," Anya replied and sat back down grabbing the musty book.  Riley shifted, "Is there anything I can do?"

Giles nodded, "You could patrol while Faith is…_missing_."

Riley nodded, "I can do that.  Besides, it looks like Willow and Tara are a bit busy."

Dawn shot up, "Can I go with him?  Please?"

Giles shook his head, "Absolutely not."

"Giles, please.  Buffy wouldn't want me staring at these books."

"She wouldn't want you to be patrolling either."

"Ah, see, well, we've already established that I can go with someone who knows what they're doing, and Riley knows what he's doing."

Riley sighed, "It's ok, Mr. Giles, I'll make sure she's safe."

Giles reluctantly agreed and Dawn grabbed her bag and stuffed a few stakes in it, "Let's get out of here."

*        *        *        *        *

Faith saved Bertha once more, sending the monster headlong into the walls of their 'stadium', and she fell on one knee, her back beginning to spasm, "Oh God," she shrieked.  Bertha was by her side in no time shouting, "What's wrong?"  Bertha's eyes widened, "He's up, he's back up, Oh God, come on girl, get it together…"

Her back was on fire, she couldn't…couldn't think, couldn't see straight – everything was so blurry, "Oh, God, I'm so sorry Bertha…"

Faith's eyes closed tightly, "I…I think I'm going to…"

Her eyes opened one last time, only to see the beast raise the axe above his head to bring it down over her skull…

*        *        *        *        *

Buzz stared into the mirror, "The Lower Ones want this, do they?  They want the Blue Angel?"

The voice rumbled, "Of Course they do, having her on our side would be a tremendous boost in the upcoming battle against the Carnivore.  His power is growing, we fear he may be thinking of trying to take over, which is also why we'd like for _me_ to get out, so that I can lead the task forces – the Slayer, the Angel, would never be able to handle him."

Buzz deadpanned, "I am shaking in my boots."  He sighed, "But I'll do as you wish, we need someone…"

"Someone who will be the vessel for our dark magicks, who will be the one to bring her to our side through his death."

"Well, I…" Buzz smiled widely, "I do happen to have this…this one _man_ in particular."  He cleared his throat, "His death would be breaking the two commandments, two very big no-no's."

The beast raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Well, there's the obvious, 'thou shalt not kill'."  He moved away from the mirror as he moved toward the end of the room and smiled, "and then there's also, 'though shalt honor thy mother and father'."  He smiled evilly, "What would happen then, if Supergirl, should kill, and not just kill an innocent possessed," he grabbed the man's face lifting it up, "but an innocent man, possessed, whom was her…_father_."

The demon growled, "So be it."  A dark aura emanated from the mirror, and a stream of dark swirling energy floated through the air as Buzz stood up backing away from Fred.  Within a matter of moments, energy bombarded Fred's body, dark evil energy, slipping in through his mouth and causing him to ram himself into the wall in convulsions, until finally he rose off the ground utterly still, changed – breaking free of the chains and manacles.

His eyes were a deep ocean of blackness, his skin a pale-purple, and his clothes were changed.  He wore nothing but pants, and boots, black, fitted.  And on his chest, he wore an hourglass etched in his skin.  He smiled as his eyes glowed a sinister green as he wielded the scythes in his hands, "When do we begin?"

Buzz smiled.


End file.
